Using positive psychology every day
Introduction
The book introduces the art of living as a long-standing philosophical topic, now
also central in positive psychology, focusing on enjoyment, self-development,
meaning, and connection.
The authors position their approach within humanistic psychology, emphasizing
that every person has inherent potential, uniqueness, and value, though this can
be lost or overlooked.
- The book is not about self-improvement but about “un-improving”.
o Letting go of limiting patterns and allowing oneself to simply be,
which leads to growth and change
o Carl Rogers
Living authentically requires active effort, including self-reflection, responsibility,
and making difficult choices while tolerating fear and uncertainty.
- The challenges of living well are timeless but may feel harder today due to
societal complexity, despite modern freedoms; ultimately, life remains
uncertain, finite, and demanding.
- People lose their authenticity through external pressures, fear, avoidance,
or trauma, leading to stagnation, loss of meaning, and reduced joy.
o Mental health care has traditionally focused on reducing problems,
but this approach is limited because well-being is not simply the
absence of distress.
The concept of positive mental health is introduced, emphasizing the importance
of building strengths and resilience alongside reducing symptoms.
- The book aims to help readers increase well-being, balancing acceptance
of what cannot be changed with personal growth, building on earlier
mindfulness work.
- Acceptance of unpleasant experiences creates space to focus on what truly
matters, rather than struggling against difficulties.
- Research shows that when people stop resisting discomfort, they naturally
focus on core values like connection, enjoyment, and meaningful
contribution.
o Key themes in positive psychology.
The book defines “positive living” as actively appreciating life, developing
oneself, and contributing to others, while still acknowledging negative emotions.
Drawing on Martin Buber, the text emphasizes that each person has a unique life
path and should strive to realize their own potential rather than imitate others.
The book contrasts negative motivation (avoiding fear and weakness) with
positive motivation (growth and exploration), encouraging a shift toward the
latter.
The introduction concludes by emphasizing personal responsibility and freedom:
life is finite, and it is up to each individual to decide how to live it.
,Chapter 1: High time for joy
Introduction
Little attention was paid to pleasant emotions in psychology, because the long-
held guiding principle was that unpleasant experiences hinder our happiness.
- In your life you can take pleasant emotions, such as happiness or love, for
granted.
The importance of pleasant emotions
Tomorrow, take the time to observe your surroundings. You may note that
people’s emotions and interactions sometimes appear to default to negative
instead of positive.
- People pay more attention to negative; our society seems to have in store
more unpleasant experiences than pleasant ones.
o News & gossip.
- Part of our lifestyle: much to do, so little time to do it, rushing off our feet,
barely being able to truly relax, always working hard in pursuit of success,
all the while trying to show the outside world what wonderful people we
are.
o The emphasis is on quantity, instead of quality, of life.
The field of psychology often uses the terms ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, which may
lead you to think that it is the emotion itself that is negative.
- But, no emotion is inherently negative since they all fulfil an important role
in our survival
o Anger, grief, sadness, are perceived to be unpleasant.
Can have destructive consequences if they are not recognized
or expressed in a constructive manner.
Ten pleasant emotions
Positivity, Fredrickson (2009) distinguishes between ten pleasant emotions:
1. Joy
a. Happiness and delight you experience when something good
happens to you, or when you are doing something you enjoy.
i. Makes you feel alive and unburdened.
2. Gratitude
a. The feeling you experience when you receive something, especially
if something performs an unexpected favour or if a situation turns to
your advantage.
i. Privileged feeling
ii. Owe someone a favour in return.
3. Calm
a. Those moments where you are completely at peace, harmonious.
4. Interest
a. Something new has caught your attention.
i. Learn more
5. Hope
a. A potential boon during times of hardship.
, i. Things will get better.
6. Pride
a. Your expectation that others will appreciate something you have
done or achieved.
i. Self-aware emotion.
ii. Ranks stronger than satisfaction.
7. Cheer
a. Strongly linked to humour and conviviality.
8. Inspiration
a. You feel touched by someone or something, and you feel the urge to
explore, to turn over a new leaf.
9. Awe
a. What you experience when, for example, you are impressed by a
natural phenomenon, or by someone’s kindness or wisdom.
10.Love
a. This encompasses and reinforces the other pleasant emotions.
i. Often intimate relationship or friendship.
Particular characteristics of pleasant emotions
Most pleasant emotions are experienced mainly when we feel safe and calm,
when we feel we have all the time in the world, when we are tranquilly present in
the here-and-now.
- Awe and calmness
- Not hope; Hope is an emotion linked to times of adversity, to times of
hardship.
o Change for the better in the foreseeable future.
- Restlessness, agitation, hurriedness all create a context in which pleasant
emotions are felt and experienced less quickly.
Some emotions are strongly linked to personal challenges and growth.
- Proud when succeeding something difficult.
- Inspiration and interest drive us to explore the unknown, and to set new
goals for ourselves.
Other emotions let us rise above ourselves, such as gratitude, awe, love, and
inspiration.
- Feelings that we are part of a greater whole.
Importance of pleasant emotions
Frederickson formulated a theory she called broaden and build, explaining why
pleasant emotions are important.
Broaden
Fredrickson discovered that pleasant emotions broaden our attention span, while
unpleasant emotions narrow it.
- f you feel uncomfortable, your thought processes become rigid, and you
turn your attention to whatever it is that is making you sad or angry.
o Repetitive patterns & defensiveness.
, - When you feel comfortable, you can take a broader view and open up.
o You regain your grip on the situation, improve your flexibility, and
find new possibilities.
o More sensitive to your surroundings, find better solutions, more
creative, more supportive, generous and forgiving.
- An experiment showed the test subject different figures, you could view
these figures as individual elements, but they could also have been viewed
as being part of a greater whole.
o Subjects with pleasant mood > saw greater whole more often.
These images are used in studies to predict the level of connectedness within
relationships.
- The greater the overlap between circles, the greater the level of
connectedness.
- Greater the level of connectedness experienced by partners, the greater
the chance of a successful relationship.
o Self-expansion: love makes you view your partner’s characteristics
as your own.
Another experiment had test subjects take part in a word game; they had to
provide a word which linked three other given words.
- The three words are ‘manners’, ‘round’, and ‘tennis’; the answer: ‘table’.
o Pleasant mood > more successful at finding the right answer.
Research by Bryant and Veroff (2007) divided participants into three groups that
were told to go on a walk: one had no assignment, second had to focus on
negative things and the third on positive things.
- When the groups returned from their walks, the people in the third group
turned out to be feeling happier than participants in the other two groups.
Build
Fredrickson describes a second effect of experiencing pleasant emotions: the
building up of mental, psychological, physical, and social resources.
- Becoming more creative and open triggers a positive chain reaction.
This chain includes:
- Making good choices and coming up with effective solutions.
- Developing confidence in your own abilities.
- Becoming inspired and, as a result, formulating meaningful goals.
- Being able to enjoy a fun activity as a result of increased awareness of
your actions.
- Increasing your desire for healthy living and exercise.
Introduction
The book introduces the art of living as a long-standing philosophical topic, now
also central in positive psychology, focusing on enjoyment, self-development,
meaning, and connection.
The authors position their approach within humanistic psychology, emphasizing
that every person has inherent potential, uniqueness, and value, though this can
be lost or overlooked.
- The book is not about self-improvement but about “un-improving”.
o Letting go of limiting patterns and allowing oneself to simply be,
which leads to growth and change
o Carl Rogers
Living authentically requires active effort, including self-reflection, responsibility,
and making difficult choices while tolerating fear and uncertainty.
- The challenges of living well are timeless but may feel harder today due to
societal complexity, despite modern freedoms; ultimately, life remains
uncertain, finite, and demanding.
- People lose their authenticity through external pressures, fear, avoidance,
or trauma, leading to stagnation, loss of meaning, and reduced joy.
o Mental health care has traditionally focused on reducing problems,
but this approach is limited because well-being is not simply the
absence of distress.
The concept of positive mental health is introduced, emphasizing the importance
of building strengths and resilience alongside reducing symptoms.
- The book aims to help readers increase well-being, balancing acceptance
of what cannot be changed with personal growth, building on earlier
mindfulness work.
- Acceptance of unpleasant experiences creates space to focus on what truly
matters, rather than struggling against difficulties.
- Research shows that when people stop resisting discomfort, they naturally
focus on core values like connection, enjoyment, and meaningful
contribution.
o Key themes in positive psychology.
The book defines “positive living” as actively appreciating life, developing
oneself, and contributing to others, while still acknowledging negative emotions.
Drawing on Martin Buber, the text emphasizes that each person has a unique life
path and should strive to realize their own potential rather than imitate others.
The book contrasts negative motivation (avoiding fear and weakness) with
positive motivation (growth and exploration), encouraging a shift toward the
latter.
The introduction concludes by emphasizing personal responsibility and freedom:
life is finite, and it is up to each individual to decide how to live it.
,Chapter 1: High time for joy
Introduction
Little attention was paid to pleasant emotions in psychology, because the long-
held guiding principle was that unpleasant experiences hinder our happiness.
- In your life you can take pleasant emotions, such as happiness or love, for
granted.
The importance of pleasant emotions
Tomorrow, take the time to observe your surroundings. You may note that
people’s emotions and interactions sometimes appear to default to negative
instead of positive.
- People pay more attention to negative; our society seems to have in store
more unpleasant experiences than pleasant ones.
o News & gossip.
- Part of our lifestyle: much to do, so little time to do it, rushing off our feet,
barely being able to truly relax, always working hard in pursuit of success,
all the while trying to show the outside world what wonderful people we
are.
o The emphasis is on quantity, instead of quality, of life.
The field of psychology often uses the terms ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, which may
lead you to think that it is the emotion itself that is negative.
- But, no emotion is inherently negative since they all fulfil an important role
in our survival
o Anger, grief, sadness, are perceived to be unpleasant.
Can have destructive consequences if they are not recognized
or expressed in a constructive manner.
Ten pleasant emotions
Positivity, Fredrickson (2009) distinguishes between ten pleasant emotions:
1. Joy
a. Happiness and delight you experience when something good
happens to you, or when you are doing something you enjoy.
i. Makes you feel alive and unburdened.
2. Gratitude
a. The feeling you experience when you receive something, especially
if something performs an unexpected favour or if a situation turns to
your advantage.
i. Privileged feeling
ii. Owe someone a favour in return.
3. Calm
a. Those moments where you are completely at peace, harmonious.
4. Interest
a. Something new has caught your attention.
i. Learn more
5. Hope
a. A potential boon during times of hardship.
, i. Things will get better.
6. Pride
a. Your expectation that others will appreciate something you have
done or achieved.
i. Self-aware emotion.
ii. Ranks stronger than satisfaction.
7. Cheer
a. Strongly linked to humour and conviviality.
8. Inspiration
a. You feel touched by someone or something, and you feel the urge to
explore, to turn over a new leaf.
9. Awe
a. What you experience when, for example, you are impressed by a
natural phenomenon, or by someone’s kindness or wisdom.
10.Love
a. This encompasses and reinforces the other pleasant emotions.
i. Often intimate relationship or friendship.
Particular characteristics of pleasant emotions
Most pleasant emotions are experienced mainly when we feel safe and calm,
when we feel we have all the time in the world, when we are tranquilly present in
the here-and-now.
- Awe and calmness
- Not hope; Hope is an emotion linked to times of adversity, to times of
hardship.
o Change for the better in the foreseeable future.
- Restlessness, agitation, hurriedness all create a context in which pleasant
emotions are felt and experienced less quickly.
Some emotions are strongly linked to personal challenges and growth.
- Proud when succeeding something difficult.
- Inspiration and interest drive us to explore the unknown, and to set new
goals for ourselves.
Other emotions let us rise above ourselves, such as gratitude, awe, love, and
inspiration.
- Feelings that we are part of a greater whole.
Importance of pleasant emotions
Frederickson formulated a theory she called broaden and build, explaining why
pleasant emotions are important.
Broaden
Fredrickson discovered that pleasant emotions broaden our attention span, while
unpleasant emotions narrow it.
- f you feel uncomfortable, your thought processes become rigid, and you
turn your attention to whatever it is that is making you sad or angry.
o Repetitive patterns & defensiveness.
, - When you feel comfortable, you can take a broader view and open up.
o You regain your grip on the situation, improve your flexibility, and
find new possibilities.
o More sensitive to your surroundings, find better solutions, more
creative, more supportive, generous and forgiving.
- An experiment showed the test subject different figures, you could view
these figures as individual elements, but they could also have been viewed
as being part of a greater whole.
o Subjects with pleasant mood > saw greater whole more often.
These images are used in studies to predict the level of connectedness within
relationships.
- The greater the overlap between circles, the greater the level of
connectedness.
- Greater the level of connectedness experienced by partners, the greater
the chance of a successful relationship.
o Self-expansion: love makes you view your partner’s characteristics
as your own.
Another experiment had test subjects take part in a word game; they had to
provide a word which linked three other given words.
- The three words are ‘manners’, ‘round’, and ‘tennis’; the answer: ‘table’.
o Pleasant mood > more successful at finding the right answer.
Research by Bryant and Veroff (2007) divided participants into three groups that
were told to go on a walk: one had no assignment, second had to focus on
negative things and the third on positive things.
- When the groups returned from their walks, the people in the third group
turned out to be feeling happier than participants in the other two groups.
Build
Fredrickson describes a second effect of experiencing pleasant emotions: the
building up of mental, psychological, physical, and social resources.
- Becoming more creative and open triggers a positive chain reaction.
This chain includes:
- Making good choices and coming up with effective solutions.
- Developing confidence in your own abilities.
- Becoming inspired and, as a result, formulating meaningful goals.
- Being able to enjoy a fun activity as a result of increased awareness of
your actions.
- Increasing your desire for healthy living and exercise.
