COUNSELOR-COUNSELEE RELATIONSHIP
The nature of counselor-counselee relationship determines the success of the counseling interview. An
effective relationship is therapeutic and leads to counselee resolution of problems.
Firstly, an effective relationship reflects permissiveness, kindness and warmth- To be
permissive, the counselor needs to have a lot of tolerance and indulgence with the client
As a counselor be open and accept what the client says without judging it as necessarily right
and wrong. Most of the time we judge people based on the values and beliefs. Consider a case
where a counselee comes to you because they are in a dilemma as to whether to become a
single parent. As a Christian counselor the temptation the temptation is to judge this counselee
as unchristian (as a fornicator). But in order to create a therapeutic relationship with this
counselee, you suspend your judgment, let the client be and value her opinions and
experiences. McKinney (1958) said that the relationship is objective where the counselor
accepts everything the counselee says as an experience that can occur in human beings without
taking responsibility for it or without evaluating it.
The counselor-counselee relationship is also characterized by the counselor’s unconditional
acceptance of the client--- this means that the counselor should not prescribe or demand
compliance to his expectations as a condition to accepting the client. In the above example the
Christian counselor may be tempted to demand that the counselee stop having such thoughts
because of her stand as a Christian. But as a professional counselor you accept the client first
because she is human irrespective of how repulsive her behaviour may be. It is Agape love for
this; the counselor may show this acceptance by valuing the circumstances that are leading her
to want to have a baby out of wedlock. In this relationship the counselor’s genuineness
encourages and enhances counselee’s self disclosure. This is the degree to which the counselor
is freely and deeply him/herself. It is also the ability to relate with the client in a sincere and
undefensive manner.
, The counselor-counselee relationship is also enhanced by the counselor’s expertness and
competence. This is perceived from his level of training and experience, from his language and
from his verbal and non-verbal behaviour. The counselor’s language needs to show relevance,
concreteness and confidence; his interpretation also needs to be relevant to issue at hand. Are
the questions provoking, direct or relevant?
Counselor’s attractiveness also enhances counselor-counselee relationship. This refers to the
counselor’s friendliness, likability and similarity to the client. Maintaining an open posture,
smiling and head nodding are some non-verbal behaviours that can contribute to attractiveness.
The structuring of the session and sharing by the counselor of his experiences similar to those
being shared by the client enhances the attractiveness.
Finally, the counselor-counselee relationship is enhanced by the counselor’s trustworthiness.
This is the client’s perception and belief that the counselor will not mislead or injure him in any
way (Fong and Cos 1983). Here the counselee is finding our if he can depend on you, is there
consistency between your talk and action? E.g the promise of confidentiality and keeping
appointments. Are you open and honest? Is the information being provided by the counselor
reliable?
EMERGENCE OF COUNSELING
Counseling in some way or another has been used by different people since the beginning of mankind-
by parents, teachers, friends, elders and so on (Festus 2005).
In the international scene counseling before 1990 was in the form of advice or information giving. The
industrial revolution in the mid 1800 spurred the development of counseling in the United States of
America to improve those affected.
In early 1900, the helping process was dominated by Freud’s Psychoanalytic theory. Jesse B. Davis was
the first to set a systematic guidance programs in the public schools, (Aubrey 1977). Frank Parsons
,founded Boston’s vocational bureau and worked with young people on career choice and decisions. This
institutionalized vocation guidance. Clifford Beers advocated better facilities and reforms in treatment of
mentally ill. The 1910’s saw the founding of The National Vocational guidance Association, the passing of
Smith Huges Act and the development of psychological instruments such as army alpha beta intelligent
tests. Regular bulletins were published by the NVGA and funding for public schools in support of
vocational education was given
The 1920’s gave exclusive emphasis of vocational guidance in education courses for counselors.
Counselors were certified in Boston and New York and standards developed for preparation and
evaluation of occupational materials. Publications of new psychological instruments was accomplished
as well as the establishment of the first Marriage and Family-counseling centre in New York by Abraham
and Hannah Stone
The great depression of the late 1930’s influenced researchers and practitioners to emphasize helping
and counseling methods related to employment. Counseling and guidance was incorporated into the
school curriculum as a subject at the proposal of Brewer in 1932. The US employment service was also
established.
In the 1940’s Carl Rogers challenged the Freudian psychoanalysis and Williamson’s counselor centered
approach. He emphasized on the client and the non-directive approach. The US government realized the
need for counselors and psychologists to help in selection and training of specialists for the military,
after the event of World War 2.
1950’s have been singled out for the most profound impact on counselors (Aubrey 1977). The American
Personnel and Guidance Association and Division of Counseling and Psychology of The American
Personnel Association were established. The National Defense Education Act also passed promoting and
funding development of counseling. New theories also emerged such as behavioural theory, congnitive
theory and transactional analysis.
In 1960’s theories on humanistic counseling by Abraham Maslow among others emerged and emphasis
was given to behavioural counseling. Sound code for counselors was published by APGA in 1961. The
government funded the establishment of counseling and personnel clearing house in the University of
Michigan and sponsored conferences in counseling.
, After the 1970’s, counseling diversified into other settings such as the mental health centres and
community agencies. Counselors education programs increased and new concepts of counseling
developed. Helping skills were developed. Counselors were given state licenses through the APGA and
educational standards for masters degrees and doctoral in counseling.
In Kenya the traditional culture and structures in place ensured that guidance and counseling took place
throughout the lifespan of a person. This was done through song, dance, games and co-education.
Advisory councils who represented the community at large offered education, guidance and counseling
in a formal way during the rites of passage from one stage in life to another. At circumcision counseling
was done through the sponsor where the inmates opened up to the sponsor before the rites so that if
he/she had broken any of the prohibitions of the Kikuyu social code the service of a family purifier would
be sort. (Kenyatta 1978)
African people were also ‘notoriously’ religious. Everything they did was ritualized and a prayer offered
for it either as an individual or a community. Prayer was an act of pouring out the soul of the individual
or the community. Prayers help remove personal and communal anxieties, fear, frustrations and
worries. The medicine man acted not only as a doctor but also as a listener to people’s troubles of all
kinds as their counselor or advisor (Mbiti 1991).
In Kenya, development of formal counseling s started in the 1970’s and early 1980’s when the Ministry
of Education realized the need for teachers to have some counseling skills to assist their students go
through the development stages in life. It was then that the unit of guidance and counseling was
introduced into schools’ training curriculum. The Ministry of Education also gave the definition of
guidance in 1971.
Counseling was however not taken seriously until in the 1980’s when the reality of HIV/AIDS pandemics
hit Kenya. It was only then that the various institutions the church and health providers realized the
need to counsel their members on the impact of the pandemic to the affected and infected. Counseling
was introduced as a unit in the training program for the religious clergy and hospital staff. Voluntary
counseling and testing centers for HIV was introduced in most health institutions. The government of
Kenya was actively involved in activities aimed at curbing the pandemic. This saw direct interventions
being funded by the government. Counseling continues to be the part of these interventions.
The 1998 incident of bomb blast that targeted the US Embassy and saw deaths of thousands of people in
and around the affected buildings was a wakeup call for Kenya in as far as disaster management is
The nature of counselor-counselee relationship determines the success of the counseling interview. An
effective relationship is therapeutic and leads to counselee resolution of problems.
Firstly, an effective relationship reflects permissiveness, kindness and warmth- To be
permissive, the counselor needs to have a lot of tolerance and indulgence with the client
As a counselor be open and accept what the client says without judging it as necessarily right
and wrong. Most of the time we judge people based on the values and beliefs. Consider a case
where a counselee comes to you because they are in a dilemma as to whether to become a
single parent. As a Christian counselor the temptation the temptation is to judge this counselee
as unchristian (as a fornicator). But in order to create a therapeutic relationship with this
counselee, you suspend your judgment, let the client be and value her opinions and
experiences. McKinney (1958) said that the relationship is objective where the counselor
accepts everything the counselee says as an experience that can occur in human beings without
taking responsibility for it or without evaluating it.
The counselor-counselee relationship is also characterized by the counselor’s unconditional
acceptance of the client--- this means that the counselor should not prescribe or demand
compliance to his expectations as a condition to accepting the client. In the above example the
Christian counselor may be tempted to demand that the counselee stop having such thoughts
because of her stand as a Christian. But as a professional counselor you accept the client first
because she is human irrespective of how repulsive her behaviour may be. It is Agape love for
this; the counselor may show this acceptance by valuing the circumstances that are leading her
to want to have a baby out of wedlock. In this relationship the counselor’s genuineness
encourages and enhances counselee’s self disclosure. This is the degree to which the counselor
is freely and deeply him/herself. It is also the ability to relate with the client in a sincere and
undefensive manner.
, The counselor-counselee relationship is also enhanced by the counselor’s expertness and
competence. This is perceived from his level of training and experience, from his language and
from his verbal and non-verbal behaviour. The counselor’s language needs to show relevance,
concreteness and confidence; his interpretation also needs to be relevant to issue at hand. Are
the questions provoking, direct or relevant?
Counselor’s attractiveness also enhances counselor-counselee relationship. This refers to the
counselor’s friendliness, likability and similarity to the client. Maintaining an open posture,
smiling and head nodding are some non-verbal behaviours that can contribute to attractiveness.
The structuring of the session and sharing by the counselor of his experiences similar to those
being shared by the client enhances the attractiveness.
Finally, the counselor-counselee relationship is enhanced by the counselor’s trustworthiness.
This is the client’s perception and belief that the counselor will not mislead or injure him in any
way (Fong and Cos 1983). Here the counselee is finding our if he can depend on you, is there
consistency between your talk and action? E.g the promise of confidentiality and keeping
appointments. Are you open and honest? Is the information being provided by the counselor
reliable?
EMERGENCE OF COUNSELING
Counseling in some way or another has been used by different people since the beginning of mankind-
by parents, teachers, friends, elders and so on (Festus 2005).
In the international scene counseling before 1990 was in the form of advice or information giving. The
industrial revolution in the mid 1800 spurred the development of counseling in the United States of
America to improve those affected.
In early 1900, the helping process was dominated by Freud’s Psychoanalytic theory. Jesse B. Davis was
the first to set a systematic guidance programs in the public schools, (Aubrey 1977). Frank Parsons
,founded Boston’s vocational bureau and worked with young people on career choice and decisions. This
institutionalized vocation guidance. Clifford Beers advocated better facilities and reforms in treatment of
mentally ill. The 1910’s saw the founding of The National Vocational guidance Association, the passing of
Smith Huges Act and the development of psychological instruments such as army alpha beta intelligent
tests. Regular bulletins were published by the NVGA and funding for public schools in support of
vocational education was given
The 1920’s gave exclusive emphasis of vocational guidance in education courses for counselors.
Counselors were certified in Boston and New York and standards developed for preparation and
evaluation of occupational materials. Publications of new psychological instruments was accomplished
as well as the establishment of the first Marriage and Family-counseling centre in New York by Abraham
and Hannah Stone
The great depression of the late 1930’s influenced researchers and practitioners to emphasize helping
and counseling methods related to employment. Counseling and guidance was incorporated into the
school curriculum as a subject at the proposal of Brewer in 1932. The US employment service was also
established.
In the 1940’s Carl Rogers challenged the Freudian psychoanalysis and Williamson’s counselor centered
approach. He emphasized on the client and the non-directive approach. The US government realized the
need for counselors and psychologists to help in selection and training of specialists for the military,
after the event of World War 2.
1950’s have been singled out for the most profound impact on counselors (Aubrey 1977). The American
Personnel and Guidance Association and Division of Counseling and Psychology of The American
Personnel Association were established. The National Defense Education Act also passed promoting and
funding development of counseling. New theories also emerged such as behavioural theory, congnitive
theory and transactional analysis.
In 1960’s theories on humanistic counseling by Abraham Maslow among others emerged and emphasis
was given to behavioural counseling. Sound code for counselors was published by APGA in 1961. The
government funded the establishment of counseling and personnel clearing house in the University of
Michigan and sponsored conferences in counseling.
, After the 1970’s, counseling diversified into other settings such as the mental health centres and
community agencies. Counselors education programs increased and new concepts of counseling
developed. Helping skills were developed. Counselors were given state licenses through the APGA and
educational standards for masters degrees and doctoral in counseling.
In Kenya the traditional culture and structures in place ensured that guidance and counseling took place
throughout the lifespan of a person. This was done through song, dance, games and co-education.
Advisory councils who represented the community at large offered education, guidance and counseling
in a formal way during the rites of passage from one stage in life to another. At circumcision counseling
was done through the sponsor where the inmates opened up to the sponsor before the rites so that if
he/she had broken any of the prohibitions of the Kikuyu social code the service of a family purifier would
be sort. (Kenyatta 1978)
African people were also ‘notoriously’ religious. Everything they did was ritualized and a prayer offered
for it either as an individual or a community. Prayer was an act of pouring out the soul of the individual
or the community. Prayers help remove personal and communal anxieties, fear, frustrations and
worries. The medicine man acted not only as a doctor but also as a listener to people’s troubles of all
kinds as their counselor or advisor (Mbiti 1991).
In Kenya, development of formal counseling s started in the 1970’s and early 1980’s when the Ministry
of Education realized the need for teachers to have some counseling skills to assist their students go
through the development stages in life. It was then that the unit of guidance and counseling was
introduced into schools’ training curriculum. The Ministry of Education also gave the definition of
guidance in 1971.
Counseling was however not taken seriously until in the 1980’s when the reality of HIV/AIDS pandemics
hit Kenya. It was only then that the various institutions the church and health providers realized the
need to counsel their members on the impact of the pandemic to the affected and infected. Counseling
was introduced as a unit in the training program for the religious clergy and hospital staff. Voluntary
counseling and testing centers for HIV was introduced in most health institutions. The government of
Kenya was actively involved in activities aimed at curbing the pandemic. This saw direct interventions
being funded by the government. Counseling continues to be the part of these interventions.
The 1998 incident of bomb blast that targeted the US Embassy and saw deaths of thousands of people in
and around the affected buildings was a wakeup call for Kenya in as far as disaster management is
