1. Revising for Conciseness
Time is money in any business environment. To be successful in the business world, you must be able
to create concise and easy-to-read messages. As you revise, eliminate flabby expressions, long lead-
ins, fillers, redundancies, and empty words. Your audience will appreciate your brevity.
Which of the following sentences contain flabby expressions? Check all that apply.
Help yourself to the cookies in the break room.
In very few cases will he return text messages.
I worked on the MarkMaster campaign for the period of 35 hours last week.
Until our copier is replaced, please use the one on the third floor.
In addition to the above, the client is of the opinion that, as a general rule, Comic Sans font is
childish.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Concise sentences are trim and lean. Avoid flabby phrases such as, for the period of, in very few
cases, in addition to the above, and as a general rule.
Complete the sentence with the most concise option.
All division meetings are canceled this week.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Create concise sentences by eliminating unnecessary, introductory words.
Read the following paragraph, and choose the best revision for one of its sentences.
Dr. Blake is retiring at the end of the month. There will be an unoccupied office upon his departure, and
it is big in size. Because every other office is occupied, we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a
lounge. It is absolutely essential that this issue is discussed at the next staff meeting.
Because every other office is filled, we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a lounge.
, Because every other office is occupied, it’s recommended that we should convert Dr. Blake’s
office into a lounge.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Create concise sentences by eliminating redundancies, expressions that convey a meaning more than
once, and by eliminating unnecessary fillers such as there is/are and it is/was.
It’s recommended that is unnecessary filler.
Evaluate each of the following sentences, and choose the most concise revision.
It is the user who should contact the help center.
The user should contact the help center.
It is the user who should contact the help center if there is a problem.
The user should contact the help center as to whether or not they have a problem.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Avoid wordy phrases such as it is the user who. Strive for simplicity and directness in your messages.
This memo is to inform you that the team has compiled the basic fundamentals of the accounting
procedure, and we have noted that there is a serious interest in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
The team has reached an end result with the accounting assignment. Please take a serious
interest in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
The team has finished the accounting assignment. Please review our questions in column D.
This memo is to inform you that the team has put together the accounting assignment. There is a
potential opportunity for error in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
This revision doesn’t contain a long lead-in stating something obvious, such as this memo is to inform
you that. It also makes its point much more directly.
Time is money in any business environment. To be successful in the business world, you must be able
to create concise and easy-to-read messages. As you revise, eliminate flabby expressions, long lead-
ins, fillers, redundancies, and empty words. Your audience will appreciate your brevity.
Which of the following sentences contain flabby expressions? Check all that apply.
Help yourself to the cookies in the break room.
In very few cases will he return text messages.
I worked on the MarkMaster campaign for the period of 35 hours last week.
Until our copier is replaced, please use the one on the third floor.
In addition to the above, the client is of the opinion that, as a general rule, Comic Sans font is
childish.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Concise sentences are trim and lean. Avoid flabby phrases such as, for the period of, in very few
cases, in addition to the above, and as a general rule.
Complete the sentence with the most concise option.
All division meetings are canceled this week.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Create concise sentences by eliminating unnecessary, introductory words.
Read the following paragraph, and choose the best revision for one of its sentences.
Dr. Blake is retiring at the end of the month. There will be an unoccupied office upon his departure, and
it is big in size. Because every other office is occupied, we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a
lounge. It is absolutely essential that this issue is discussed at the next staff meeting.
Because every other office is filled, we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a lounge.
, Because every other office is occupied, it’s recommended that we should convert Dr. Blake’s
office into a lounge.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Create concise sentences by eliminating redundancies, expressions that convey a meaning more than
once, and by eliminating unnecessary fillers such as there is/are and it is/was.
It’s recommended that is unnecessary filler.
Evaluate each of the following sentences, and choose the most concise revision.
It is the user who should contact the help center.
The user should contact the help center.
It is the user who should contact the help center if there is a problem.
The user should contact the help center as to whether or not they have a problem.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Avoid wordy phrases such as it is the user who. Strive for simplicity and directness in your messages.
This memo is to inform you that the team has compiled the basic fundamentals of the accounting
procedure, and we have noted that there is a serious interest in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
The team has reached an end result with the accounting assignment. Please take a serious
interest in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
The team has finished the accounting assignment. Please review our questions in column D.
This memo is to inform you that the team has put together the accounting assignment. There is a
potential opportunity for error in column D of the Excel spreadsheet.
Points:
1/1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
This revision doesn’t contain a long lead-in stating something obvious, such as this memo is to inform
you that. It also makes its point much more directly.
