Theories of romantic relationships: Ducks phase model
Definition: The ending of a relationship is not a one-off event, but a process that takes time,
progressing through 4 phases to reach thresholds that changes the perception of their
relationship usually for the worst.
Intra psychic phase: ‘I can’t stand this anymore’ indicates a determination that the relationship
cannot continue the way it is. This focusses on the cognitive processes of an individual, whereby
they worry about the causes of their dissatisfaction. These are private thoughts that aren’t shared
with the partner, through evaluating the pros and cons, they create plans for future actions.
Dyadic phase: ‘It would be justified for me to leave this relationship’ focus is on interpersonal
processes between both partners. Individual struggles to avoid speaking out anymore and confronts
partner on their dissatisfaction, characterised through hostility, complaints of unbalanced roles and
efforts made to understand individuals’ thoughts.
Following this.. determination to break up could continue, or a renewed desire to repair the
relationship. Self-disclosure is likely to become much deeper during efforts to renew.
Social phase: ‘I mean what I said’ Focusses on ultimate decision to end the relationship, involving
the couples wider social network. This is due to partners seeking support and creating ‘sides’
(mutual friends are expected to pick one of these). Some partners will have gossip to be encouraged,
friends provide reassurance (‘I always knew you were too good for him’). This is ‘point of no return’
and the breakup is legitimised by external social forces.
Grave dressing phase: ‘They were just like that, so it was inevitable’ The aftermath, burying the
relationship, create a story for the public, favourable to the storyteller to make them seem in good
light and maintain positive relationship ‘Social credit’, usually at the expense of the other partner.
This also includes creating a story that the individual can live with, helping to accept the events.
Traits found attractive in partner at the beginning e.g., ‘wild and free’ are portrayed negatively e.g.,
‘immature and irresponsible’ to convince us the loss was not as large.
Evaluation +/-
Real world application suggests ways in which relationship breakdowns can be reversed. The theory
is credited for informing that certain intervention is likely to work at different stages e.g., Couples
coping enhancement therapy is shown to be most effective in the dyadic stage whereby
communication and self-disclosure is encouraged by partner. This increases the chances of aiding
the relationship to stability. This insight shows how the theory can be used in counselling methods to
help couples through difficult times and prevent them from reaching further thresholds.
Incomplete model? Considered an incomplete model to correctly explain relationship breakdown.
Rollie added a fifth phase after grave dressing called resurrection phase referring to Ex partners
applying experience from past relationship into their future ones. The research also argues that
progression through these stages is NOT linear as Duck suggests, as it is possible to return to
previous phases or miss phases out. Therefore, the original model does not account for the
complexity of relationship breakdown.
Definition: The ending of a relationship is not a one-off event, but a process that takes time,
progressing through 4 phases to reach thresholds that changes the perception of their
relationship usually for the worst.
Intra psychic phase: ‘I can’t stand this anymore’ indicates a determination that the relationship
cannot continue the way it is. This focusses on the cognitive processes of an individual, whereby
they worry about the causes of their dissatisfaction. These are private thoughts that aren’t shared
with the partner, through evaluating the pros and cons, they create plans for future actions.
Dyadic phase: ‘It would be justified for me to leave this relationship’ focus is on interpersonal
processes between both partners. Individual struggles to avoid speaking out anymore and confronts
partner on their dissatisfaction, characterised through hostility, complaints of unbalanced roles and
efforts made to understand individuals’ thoughts.
Following this.. determination to break up could continue, or a renewed desire to repair the
relationship. Self-disclosure is likely to become much deeper during efforts to renew.
Social phase: ‘I mean what I said’ Focusses on ultimate decision to end the relationship, involving
the couples wider social network. This is due to partners seeking support and creating ‘sides’
(mutual friends are expected to pick one of these). Some partners will have gossip to be encouraged,
friends provide reassurance (‘I always knew you were too good for him’). This is ‘point of no return’
and the breakup is legitimised by external social forces.
Grave dressing phase: ‘They were just like that, so it was inevitable’ The aftermath, burying the
relationship, create a story for the public, favourable to the storyteller to make them seem in good
light and maintain positive relationship ‘Social credit’, usually at the expense of the other partner.
This also includes creating a story that the individual can live with, helping to accept the events.
Traits found attractive in partner at the beginning e.g., ‘wild and free’ are portrayed negatively e.g.,
‘immature and irresponsible’ to convince us the loss was not as large.
Evaluation +/-
Real world application suggests ways in which relationship breakdowns can be reversed. The theory
is credited for informing that certain intervention is likely to work at different stages e.g., Couples
coping enhancement therapy is shown to be most effective in the dyadic stage whereby
communication and self-disclosure is encouraged by partner. This increases the chances of aiding
the relationship to stability. This insight shows how the theory can be used in counselling methods to
help couples through difficult times and prevent them from reaching further thresholds.
Incomplete model? Considered an incomplete model to correctly explain relationship breakdown.
Rollie added a fifth phase after grave dressing called resurrection phase referring to Ex partners
applying experience from past relationship into their future ones. The research also argues that
progression through these stages is NOT linear as Duck suggests, as it is possible to return to
previous phases or miss phases out. Therefore, the original model does not account for the
complexity of relationship breakdown.
