Building the Counseling Relationship
I Nonverbal Messages
i. Body language – Active interested body language – leaning forward, looking in the
direction of the client’s face, arms in open mode, interested facial expression and
making encouraging gestures.
ii. SOLER Skills – S- sitting squarely, O – Open posture, L – Leaning forward, E – Eye
contact, R – relaxed position
iii. Paralinguistics – tone of voice can communicate caring and provide comfort to the
client.
These above behaviors are referred to as Attending behaviours – These skills encourage the
client to speak and the counselor’s need to speak less.
II Verbal encouragement to disclose
Counselor, in the beginning gives an open invitation to the client to communicate – questions
such as these could be used - How can I help? What would you like to discuss today? How
would you like to begin?
Active listening
Techniques in counselling in which the counsellor listens to a client closely, asking questions
as needed, in order to fully understand the content of the message and the depth of the client's
emotion.”
Active listening involves the following four skills –
1. Listening to and understanding the client’s verbal messages - The counselor has to
listen to the mix of experiences, behavior and feelings the client uses to describe his/her
problem situation. Also ‘hear’ what the client is not saying.
2. Listening to and interpreting the client’s nonverbal messages. Counselors should learn
how to listen to and read nonverbal messages such as bodily behavior, facial
expressions, voice-related behavior, observable physiological responses, general
appearance and physical appearance.
3. Listening to and understanding the client in context. The counselor should listen to the
whole person in the context of his/her social settings.
4. Listening with empathy. Empathic listening involves attending, observing and listening
(being with) in such a way that the counselor develops an understanding of the client
and his/her world.
Some more Active listening skills -
a. Using minimal encouragers - small signals or words that let the speaker know you are
listening and understanding - words like ‘uh-huh’, ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘mmm’, and little actions
like nodding that show you are engaged in listening.
b. Using open body language - helping make the speaker feel comfortable and safe with
you.
c. Repeating back some of the speaker’s words, or a phrase, to help prompt them to say
more.
d. Paraphrasing - putting what the speaker says into your own words.
I Nonverbal Messages
i. Body language – Active interested body language – leaning forward, looking in the
direction of the client’s face, arms in open mode, interested facial expression and
making encouraging gestures.
ii. SOLER Skills – S- sitting squarely, O – Open posture, L – Leaning forward, E – Eye
contact, R – relaxed position
iii. Paralinguistics – tone of voice can communicate caring and provide comfort to the
client.
These above behaviors are referred to as Attending behaviours – These skills encourage the
client to speak and the counselor’s need to speak less.
II Verbal encouragement to disclose
Counselor, in the beginning gives an open invitation to the client to communicate – questions
such as these could be used - How can I help? What would you like to discuss today? How
would you like to begin?
Active listening
Techniques in counselling in which the counsellor listens to a client closely, asking questions
as needed, in order to fully understand the content of the message and the depth of the client's
emotion.”
Active listening involves the following four skills –
1. Listening to and understanding the client’s verbal messages - The counselor has to
listen to the mix of experiences, behavior and feelings the client uses to describe his/her
problem situation. Also ‘hear’ what the client is not saying.
2. Listening to and interpreting the client’s nonverbal messages. Counselors should learn
how to listen to and read nonverbal messages such as bodily behavior, facial
expressions, voice-related behavior, observable physiological responses, general
appearance and physical appearance.
3. Listening to and understanding the client in context. The counselor should listen to the
whole person in the context of his/her social settings.
4. Listening with empathy. Empathic listening involves attending, observing and listening
(being with) in such a way that the counselor develops an understanding of the client
and his/her world.
Some more Active listening skills -
a. Using minimal encouragers - small signals or words that let the speaker know you are
listening and understanding - words like ‘uh-huh’, ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘mmm’, and little actions
like nodding that show you are engaged in listening.
b. Using open body language - helping make the speaker feel comfortable and safe with
you.
c. Repeating back some of the speaker’s words, or a phrase, to help prompt them to say
more.
d. Paraphrasing - putting what the speaker says into your own words.
