13.02 Vignette Activity
1. In pairs, or groups of 3, choose a short moment or event that you can explore in detail.
Some examples:
- waiting half an hour for a date to show up
- a missed opportunity to help a stranger.
- an old woman getting lost in a library she used to frequent as a child
- a boss who won’t take no for an answer in the office
2. Identify what underlying message, or 'shadow' you want this short moment to reveal (you
might decide this after figuring out the events/details)
3. Draft an outline of 5 key things that would happen during this short period of time.
4. Create a list of details you could explore. Try to unpack them by describing them in detail
in ways that reveal the underlying message you identified.
Short Moment:
- A man lies close to death. Describe the images from his childhood that fill his mind.
- A lost girl in the mall that sees a man who looks like her father
- (Absurd) A impoverished man who is used to cleaning the toilet with his hands finally
discovers the plunger but has no gloves
- An artist walks along the path, describing the lack of beauty in the contemporary world
- Sam is sick
- A student is stuck at the final question of their exam
Underlying Message:
- Ignorance is bliss (if human toilets didn’t exist then we would use holes in the ground
instead; we only feel repulsed because the existence of the toilet is normalised)
- *Dramatic irony (the reader knows what the plunger will do but the character does not)
- Can explore how civilisation/society as a social construct values resources and
education (another social construct) and normalises technological advancement, thus
immediately denormalising the innate nature of being human with the lack thereof
→ if he doesn’t “need” the plunger, should he use it just because it’s more efficient and is
the most accepted way of unclogging a toilet?
- Industrial revolution and human progression towards convenience results in mass
sedentary lifestyle
- Although technological advancement itself is not a social construct, human
understanding and approaches to it are certainly shaped by them. For this reason,
ostracisation due to the inability to adopt new customs seems common in the eyes of
society and through a biological viewpoint but not through a personal or moral viewpoint)
5 Key Points:
1. MC’s toilet is blocked and he is taking a break from using his hands to unclog it
2. MC walks along the shore, looking out in the distance
3. MC notices a plunger in the distance that eventually washes up on the shore with other
debris
4. Cue confusion and curiosity. He tests the plunger on his face and has a eureka moment
5. Rushes back to the toilet to try it out because he thinks it’ll work (of course)
6. Realises his hands are still dirty and stinky and wishes for something to cover his hands
(we know to use gloves)
,Details to Explore:
- Setting/situation
- Man is alone on an island with some working appliances (i.e. toilet)
- Ancestors were able to build a toilet but didn’t know what a plunger was.
Ancestors are isolated from any civilisation
- Islanders have found that incest lessons protection against harmful genetic
mutations and thus have stopped inbreeding → population decreases
- Ignorance is bliss?
- Does it matter if the readers feel disgusted if the man himself is perfectly fine with
discovering a new way to unclog the toilet? Do feelings of disgust obstruct
empathy?
- The reader “knows” that poop is bad and it's unhygienic to use your hands…
- MC characterisation & literary techniques
- A lack of intellect? Uncivilisation ≠ lack of intellect: this is only a product of
cultural biases and prejudices from a colonialistic perspective. Creating a clearly
“dumb” character allows readers to question this perspective in the contemporary
context i.e. human progress & innovation
- Spoonerisms, repetition, rhetorical questions, hypophora, satire & irony
(dramatic), abasement of reason, etc
- ^Metaphor
,16.02 Writing a Reflection
- Hints for Writing a Reflection (Document)
- <Model Reflective Writing response.pdf> can be found at Lesson Overview
Useful Expressions
I aimed to…
My purpose was…
My intended audience is….
I wanted to demonstrate, convey, communicate, express, explore, challenge, capture, reveal,
highlight…etc.
I wanted to position the reader to, see, feel, think about, empathise with…etc.
The reason why I used this, approach, style, form of language, metaphor, simile, hyperbole etc.
was to create…etc.
My intention in this moment was to evoke, reveal, explore, reinforce, reiterate, confront,
challenge…etc.
I feel/think that my writing has improved, strengthened, been consolidated by, has become more
subtle, refined, complex, nuanced…etc.
As part of my writing process I edited, revised, revisited, focused on…etc.
I was challenged by…
At times I struggled with, was challenged by, found it difficult to…etc.
I overcame this challenge, obstacle…etc. by...
Basic Structure
Introduction: Engage with the question. 2-3 sentences addressing the question.
Paragraph 1: Compositional choice
Example
Analyse how the choice helped you to shape your meaning or achieve your
identified purpose, or address your intended audience.
Paragraph 2: Compositional choice
Example
Analyse how the choice helped you to shape your meaning or achieve your
identified purpose, or address your intended audience.
In a Nutshell
Ø Purpose Ø Identify compositional choices and explain.
Ø Answer the question Ø Depth—detailed and specific analysis
Ø Structure Ø Point/example/explain, analyse
Ø First person Ø Quote yourself & analyse your own writing processes.
Ø Keep it tight and specific Ø Mentor text influences
- Use past tense to describe the process. Use present tense to discuss impact.
- You need at least 2 mentor texts and identify the local effect which you emulated. (1)
Process and what you employed, (2) the effectiveness/impact in the mentor text, and (3)
the example from your writing
, Model Reflective Writing Example (Hand-In)
2020 Question:
What contribution have mentor texts made to your development as a writer?
(Introduction)
The mentor texts that have contributed to my development as a writer are the extracts from The
One Eyed Man by Ron Currie and Boy Who Swallows Universe by Troy Dalton. Both texts have
influenced the way I have used dialogue and setting to explore my concept which is to compose
the start of a novel that reveals my character’s fractured point of view as he struggles to
reconcile the loss of his wife and children. I was drawn particularly to the way the both authors
use dialogue in simple yet complex ways and the way they magnify different aspects of their
respective characters’ struggle through the ordinary domestic settings that are used in the
extracts. This significantly developed my intention to express the life altering experience of
mortality in an understated way.
(Body 1)
In order to develop my concept and fulfil my purpose of writing about mortality in a way that is
not hackneyed (clichéd or overdone), I looked at the way Dalton writes about death in a laconic
and understated way in the dialogue he creates for his vulnerable characters. I also liked the
way he conceals his characters’ emotions by not reflecting their overwhelming grief in a
melodramatic manner. During the process of development of my piece, I experimented with this
form of understated dialogue to heighten the protagonist’s sense of loss and desire to keep the
memory of his children alive through the imaginary conversations he has with them.
[Quote]
The language I chose to use in the dialogue is essentially quite literal. Additionally, the repetition
of dialogue fragments such as “It’s time to get ready,” are used to reinforce how the death of the
protagonist’s family has resulted in his delusional exchange with the memory of them. For these
reasons, Dalton’s use of dialogue developed my insight into how it is important to show how a
character struggles and even fights against the impact of death by concealing it in the
conversations they have with other characters, or in this case of my protagonist, the
conversations he has with himself.
(Body 2)
In terms of setting I was drawn to the way Currie portrays it in The One Eyed Man. Currie
appears to create a domestic environment so seemingly ordinary to heighten a sense of
absence. The extract details the protagonist’s kitchen which evokes various memories of his
wife. This is done through the disordered depiction of the kitchen and the focus on little objects
like a brush and teacup that once were so insignificant but are now permanent reminders of a
vacancy that no amount of nostalgia can fill.
I appropriated the idea of creating a domestic setting that is both tangible and strangely
unfamiliar to the reader, due to the emotions that my protagonist has invested in it. Having said
this, I did find it difficult to make specific items in the setting forms of objective correlatives that
metaphorically reflect the protagonist’s overwhelming grief, the way Currie does in the extract.
To counter this, I decided to write about the shadows of certain objects like a handbag on a stool
and a three wheeled scooter permanently parked near a sliding door. I focused on the way the
protagonist looks at the shadow of an object in the setting, “Everyday he saw the elongated
shadow of the stool and her bag perched upon it; the odd position of the bag with its one strap
up and one strap down reminded him of a puppy dog whose ears are lopsided - till the muscle
forms in the floppy ear and they are both the same.” My intention with this moment was to imply
that the shadows he sees are distorted silhouettes and imprints that remind him of the void
1. In pairs, or groups of 3, choose a short moment or event that you can explore in detail.
Some examples:
- waiting half an hour for a date to show up
- a missed opportunity to help a stranger.
- an old woman getting lost in a library she used to frequent as a child
- a boss who won’t take no for an answer in the office
2. Identify what underlying message, or 'shadow' you want this short moment to reveal (you
might decide this after figuring out the events/details)
3. Draft an outline of 5 key things that would happen during this short period of time.
4. Create a list of details you could explore. Try to unpack them by describing them in detail
in ways that reveal the underlying message you identified.
Short Moment:
- A man lies close to death. Describe the images from his childhood that fill his mind.
- A lost girl in the mall that sees a man who looks like her father
- (Absurd) A impoverished man who is used to cleaning the toilet with his hands finally
discovers the plunger but has no gloves
- An artist walks along the path, describing the lack of beauty in the contemporary world
- Sam is sick
- A student is stuck at the final question of their exam
Underlying Message:
- Ignorance is bliss (if human toilets didn’t exist then we would use holes in the ground
instead; we only feel repulsed because the existence of the toilet is normalised)
- *Dramatic irony (the reader knows what the plunger will do but the character does not)
- Can explore how civilisation/society as a social construct values resources and
education (another social construct) and normalises technological advancement, thus
immediately denormalising the innate nature of being human with the lack thereof
→ if he doesn’t “need” the plunger, should he use it just because it’s more efficient and is
the most accepted way of unclogging a toilet?
- Industrial revolution and human progression towards convenience results in mass
sedentary lifestyle
- Although technological advancement itself is not a social construct, human
understanding and approaches to it are certainly shaped by them. For this reason,
ostracisation due to the inability to adopt new customs seems common in the eyes of
society and through a biological viewpoint but not through a personal or moral viewpoint)
5 Key Points:
1. MC’s toilet is blocked and he is taking a break from using his hands to unclog it
2. MC walks along the shore, looking out in the distance
3. MC notices a plunger in the distance that eventually washes up on the shore with other
debris
4. Cue confusion and curiosity. He tests the plunger on his face and has a eureka moment
5. Rushes back to the toilet to try it out because he thinks it’ll work (of course)
6. Realises his hands are still dirty and stinky and wishes for something to cover his hands
(we know to use gloves)
,Details to Explore:
- Setting/situation
- Man is alone on an island with some working appliances (i.e. toilet)
- Ancestors were able to build a toilet but didn’t know what a plunger was.
Ancestors are isolated from any civilisation
- Islanders have found that incest lessons protection against harmful genetic
mutations and thus have stopped inbreeding → population decreases
- Ignorance is bliss?
- Does it matter if the readers feel disgusted if the man himself is perfectly fine with
discovering a new way to unclog the toilet? Do feelings of disgust obstruct
empathy?
- The reader “knows” that poop is bad and it's unhygienic to use your hands…
- MC characterisation & literary techniques
- A lack of intellect? Uncivilisation ≠ lack of intellect: this is only a product of
cultural biases and prejudices from a colonialistic perspective. Creating a clearly
“dumb” character allows readers to question this perspective in the contemporary
context i.e. human progress & innovation
- Spoonerisms, repetition, rhetorical questions, hypophora, satire & irony
(dramatic), abasement of reason, etc
- ^Metaphor
,16.02 Writing a Reflection
- Hints for Writing a Reflection (Document)
- <Model Reflective Writing response.pdf> can be found at Lesson Overview
Useful Expressions
I aimed to…
My purpose was…
My intended audience is….
I wanted to demonstrate, convey, communicate, express, explore, challenge, capture, reveal,
highlight…etc.
I wanted to position the reader to, see, feel, think about, empathise with…etc.
The reason why I used this, approach, style, form of language, metaphor, simile, hyperbole etc.
was to create…etc.
My intention in this moment was to evoke, reveal, explore, reinforce, reiterate, confront,
challenge…etc.
I feel/think that my writing has improved, strengthened, been consolidated by, has become more
subtle, refined, complex, nuanced…etc.
As part of my writing process I edited, revised, revisited, focused on…etc.
I was challenged by…
At times I struggled with, was challenged by, found it difficult to…etc.
I overcame this challenge, obstacle…etc. by...
Basic Structure
Introduction: Engage with the question. 2-3 sentences addressing the question.
Paragraph 1: Compositional choice
Example
Analyse how the choice helped you to shape your meaning or achieve your
identified purpose, or address your intended audience.
Paragraph 2: Compositional choice
Example
Analyse how the choice helped you to shape your meaning or achieve your
identified purpose, or address your intended audience.
In a Nutshell
Ø Purpose Ø Identify compositional choices and explain.
Ø Answer the question Ø Depth—detailed and specific analysis
Ø Structure Ø Point/example/explain, analyse
Ø First person Ø Quote yourself & analyse your own writing processes.
Ø Keep it tight and specific Ø Mentor text influences
- Use past tense to describe the process. Use present tense to discuss impact.
- You need at least 2 mentor texts and identify the local effect which you emulated. (1)
Process and what you employed, (2) the effectiveness/impact in the mentor text, and (3)
the example from your writing
, Model Reflective Writing Example (Hand-In)
2020 Question:
What contribution have mentor texts made to your development as a writer?
(Introduction)
The mentor texts that have contributed to my development as a writer are the extracts from The
One Eyed Man by Ron Currie and Boy Who Swallows Universe by Troy Dalton. Both texts have
influenced the way I have used dialogue and setting to explore my concept which is to compose
the start of a novel that reveals my character’s fractured point of view as he struggles to
reconcile the loss of his wife and children. I was drawn particularly to the way the both authors
use dialogue in simple yet complex ways and the way they magnify different aspects of their
respective characters’ struggle through the ordinary domestic settings that are used in the
extracts. This significantly developed my intention to express the life altering experience of
mortality in an understated way.
(Body 1)
In order to develop my concept and fulfil my purpose of writing about mortality in a way that is
not hackneyed (clichéd or overdone), I looked at the way Dalton writes about death in a laconic
and understated way in the dialogue he creates for his vulnerable characters. I also liked the
way he conceals his characters’ emotions by not reflecting their overwhelming grief in a
melodramatic manner. During the process of development of my piece, I experimented with this
form of understated dialogue to heighten the protagonist’s sense of loss and desire to keep the
memory of his children alive through the imaginary conversations he has with them.
[Quote]
The language I chose to use in the dialogue is essentially quite literal. Additionally, the repetition
of dialogue fragments such as “It’s time to get ready,” are used to reinforce how the death of the
protagonist’s family has resulted in his delusional exchange with the memory of them. For these
reasons, Dalton’s use of dialogue developed my insight into how it is important to show how a
character struggles and even fights against the impact of death by concealing it in the
conversations they have with other characters, or in this case of my protagonist, the
conversations he has with himself.
(Body 2)
In terms of setting I was drawn to the way Currie portrays it in The One Eyed Man. Currie
appears to create a domestic environment so seemingly ordinary to heighten a sense of
absence. The extract details the protagonist’s kitchen which evokes various memories of his
wife. This is done through the disordered depiction of the kitchen and the focus on little objects
like a brush and teacup that once were so insignificant but are now permanent reminders of a
vacancy that no amount of nostalgia can fill.
I appropriated the idea of creating a domestic setting that is both tangible and strangely
unfamiliar to the reader, due to the emotions that my protagonist has invested in it. Having said
this, I did find it difficult to make specific items in the setting forms of objective correlatives that
metaphorically reflect the protagonist’s overwhelming grief, the way Currie does in the extract.
To counter this, I decided to write about the shadows of certain objects like a handbag on a stool
and a three wheeled scooter permanently parked near a sliding door. I focused on the way the
protagonist looks at the shadow of an object in the setting, “Everyday he saw the elongated
shadow of the stool and her bag perched upon it; the odd position of the bag with its one strap
up and one strap down reminded him of a puppy dog whose ears are lopsided - till the muscle
forms in the floppy ear and they are both the same.” My intention with this moment was to imply
that the shadows he sees are distorted silhouettes and imprints that remind him of the void
