Dealing With Loneliness
“An Open Invitation To Life, Love and True
Companionship”
LEGAL NOTICE
The Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as possible in the creation of
this report, notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent at any time
that the contents within are accurate due to the rapidly changing nature of the Internet.
While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the
Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of
the subject matter herein. Any perceived slights of specific persons, peoples, or
organizations are unintentional.
In practical advice books, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees of income
made. Readers are cautioned to reply on their own judgment about their individual
circumstances to act accordingly.
This book is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial
advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionals in legal,
business, accounting, and finance field.
You are encouraged to print this book for easy reading.
1-
, TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why I Wrote This Book 5
All Alone! 6
Crowded Yet Isolated 8
Emotional Pain In A Loveless World 9
Love – The Verb, Not The Feeling 10
Learning How To Love 11
The Laws Of Attraction 13
Practical Steps For Dealing With Loneliness 15
Breaking The Destructive Cycle 17
Finding Our Purpose In The Wilderness 19
Life Still Has Meaning 20
2-
, Dealing With Loneliness
“An Open Invitation to Life, Love and True
Companionship”
3-
,Why I Wrote This Book
Welcome, my dear readers!
If you are feeling lonely as you are reading this, you are not alone. The reason
why I put this book together is because I know what it is like. Loneliness is a topic
that is very close to my heart because I have been through the depths of empty,
meaningless feelings many times and I am not new to that kind of feeling.
I have felt every gripping moment of it. The long, long hours which seems like
days, the lonely nights where I weep in silence, drenching my pillow salty with
tears, the lack of desire to face the next day and the thought of wanting to end it
all!
It doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, husband or wife. No matter
how close you are with them, there are parts of you that they just don’t
understand! The pain doesn’t fade after confiding with your best friend, your
group of buddies, or even your counselor! Nobody seems to understand you yet
you want them to feel your pain.
I empathize with you, my friend. I truly do.
But I have good news for all of us lonely hearts out there. I have survived through
and I have a way to solve it if not ease the pain at least.
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself
Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
It is my sincere wish that after you read this book, you will be better equipped to
cope with loneliness. Even if you don’t feel lonely, maybe you know someone
who is. Use this information to help them and make their world a better place.
4-
,All Alone!
Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in
these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly
increasing.
Firstly, we must clarify what loneliness means.
Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a
disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness,
which renders their present company around them meaningless.
That person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young or
old. They basically find it very hard to connect with others and experiences
emancipation from meaningful relationships.
This is not to be confused with being alone.
Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a
person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the
opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.
What are the common symptoms of being alone, if you are reading this book? I
bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.
You think your problems are so unique that other people do not understand
As a result, you feel that other people in the world has friends and you don’t
You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
You feel that when you do something wrong, you get extremely embarrassed
When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
Feeling shy and scared of others
Experiencing low self-esteem
Feeling angry, defensive and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
Being convinced there is something wrong with you
Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
Losing your capacity to be assertive' feeling "invisible"
Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
5-
, Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide
6-
,Crowded Yet Isolated
Ever had that feeling that your wife or husband doesn’t understand you? Your
spouse or significant other is right beside you yet it doesn’t fill that gap.
You may be surrounded by many people, yet their company ‘drowns’ you deeper
into loneliness!
People feel that way because we are all unique and different. You see:
There is no one in the entire universe that will have the same personality, ideas,
way of life and needs like you. NONE! Not even twins! How can anyone fulfill all
those needs to cater every individual?
There us a quote from the bible that says if I try to remove the speck from my
neighbor’s eye, I must first remove the plank from my OWN eye then I can see
clearly before I attempt to remove his speck.
How does this apply?
By understanding that other people are not obliged to fulfill our needs, we
somehow learn to expect less from others and it eases the pain, because we
stop expecting more from others! We learn to accept them better and judge
others less so it creates the first step to curing loneliness – giving others slack!
Remember that we are the sum of the five people we spend most of our time with.
If you are mixing with a crowd that is negative and makes you feel down all the
time, it is no surprise why you are lonely and negative. It is no surprise that
children move out from their homes away from negative parents or stop
interacting with certain groups of friends all together. Don’t let the poison drain
your energy.
7-
,Emotional Pains in a loveless World
How does the agony of loneliness seem to penetrate the hearts of men and
women throughout the world? Even superstars who have been the icon of
generations and admired by millions feel unfulfilled (e.g. Janis Joplin, Kurt
Cobain)
The feeling of loneliness is radically due to the failure of man in loving others.
The symptoms of loneliness magnetize the effects of the pain to the extent that it
forces the focus of attention more on ourselves and creates a self-preoccupation
that creates an obstacle to love others.
Ever had a stomachache? Who are you thinking of at that moment?
This illustrates the point that we are only thinking of ourselves. It shows a terribly
pain filled world in which we live in.
Furthermore, the pain does go away like a stomachache. The so called Mid-life
crisis is turning more into a ‘young adult’ crisis now with suicide rates hitting the
roof and most diseases in the world today mentally induced or cured in
psychiatric wards.
The basis of trust between people is eroding and less and less people are
opening up to one another. By failing to open up to others, the lonely symptoms
spring up as other people will not open up to you if you do not open yourself to
others first.
It is said that if you want to be surrounded by friends, be a friend to others first.
8-
,Love – The Verb, Not The Feeling
Love, or rather the lack of it constitutes the loneliness breeding in a person’s
heart. It is a scary fact to note that we are largely shaped by others (remember
the sum of five people we spend most of our time with) who hold our destiny in
THEIR hands.
We are what we are today – a product of those who loved us or have refused to
love us.
Love gives life to others. But what is most important is to remember is that in
order to love someone else effectively, we must love ourselves first! You can’t
give what you don’t have!
You may think you ‘love’ a beautiful girl or a handsome guy if you don’t love
yourself (there is a song that goes: I am nobody until I met you or my life is
meaningless until you came into the picture) but that is not love.
You may admire that person because he or she is good looking, you may
worship that person because you think he or she is better, you may even
sacrifice your life for him or her for your own selfish, self-gratifying ego, but you
do not love.
Love is a verb. It is an action. The feeling of ‘love’ is actually a product of the verb
or action. By loving yourself first, it forms the basis or foundation by which you
love others without which it is merely a baseless act of self-deception that
appears to be loving.
But how do we love ourselves if we have never been loved? In the next chapter
we will explore this area.
9-
, Learning How to Love
How do I take the first step to deal with loneliness? By learning to love. But first
we must examine the paradox to love.
When we are lonely, we feel like we are in an unbearable prison. By its very
nature of loneliness is just like the stomach ache – the attention centers only on
ourselves. So we try and fill this emptiness by finding others who will give us that
very love we need.
People often try to do things for others to gain their love. They barter trade favors
with each other thinking that they are loving people. We know that our loneliness
can only be filled by the love of others and therefore we must feel loved by others.
The paradox of love is this:
If we seek to fill the void of our own loneliness in seeking love from others, we
will inevitably find no consolation but only a deeper desolation. In other words, if
we seek the love that we need, we will never find it.
When a person orients his life towards the satisfaction of his own needs, when
he goes out to seek the love which he needs, he is basically self-centered, no
matter how pitiful he is. As long as he focuses on himself, his ability to love will
always remain stunted.
What is the solution then?
If a person seeks not to receive love, but rather to give it without strings attached,
he will become lovable and he will most certainly be loved by others in the end.
We must stop being concerned with ourselves and begin to be concerned with
others. Beginning with the end in mind – which focuses the results of the act of
love others without concerned with self-gain, is the first step to gaining love and
easing the pain of loneliness.
Every single person on earth has some capacity to love.
10 -
“An Open Invitation To Life, Love and True
Companionship”
LEGAL NOTICE
The Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as possible in the creation of
this report, notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent at any time
that the contents within are accurate due to the rapidly changing nature of the Internet.
While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the
Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of
the subject matter herein. Any perceived slights of specific persons, peoples, or
organizations are unintentional.
In practical advice books, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees of income
made. Readers are cautioned to reply on their own judgment about their individual
circumstances to act accordingly.
This book is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial
advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionals in legal,
business, accounting, and finance field.
You are encouraged to print this book for easy reading.
1-
, TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why I Wrote This Book 5
All Alone! 6
Crowded Yet Isolated 8
Emotional Pain In A Loveless World 9
Love – The Verb, Not The Feeling 10
Learning How To Love 11
The Laws Of Attraction 13
Practical Steps For Dealing With Loneliness 15
Breaking The Destructive Cycle 17
Finding Our Purpose In The Wilderness 19
Life Still Has Meaning 20
2-
, Dealing With Loneliness
“An Open Invitation to Life, Love and True
Companionship”
3-
,Why I Wrote This Book
Welcome, my dear readers!
If you are feeling lonely as you are reading this, you are not alone. The reason
why I put this book together is because I know what it is like. Loneliness is a topic
that is very close to my heart because I have been through the depths of empty,
meaningless feelings many times and I am not new to that kind of feeling.
I have felt every gripping moment of it. The long, long hours which seems like
days, the lonely nights where I weep in silence, drenching my pillow salty with
tears, the lack of desire to face the next day and the thought of wanting to end it
all!
It doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, husband or wife. No matter
how close you are with them, there are parts of you that they just don’t
understand! The pain doesn’t fade after confiding with your best friend, your
group of buddies, or even your counselor! Nobody seems to understand you yet
you want them to feel your pain.
I empathize with you, my friend. I truly do.
But I have good news for all of us lonely hearts out there. I have survived through
and I have a way to solve it if not ease the pain at least.
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself
Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
It is my sincere wish that after you read this book, you will be better equipped to
cope with loneliness. Even if you don’t feel lonely, maybe you know someone
who is. Use this information to help them and make their world a better place.
4-
,All Alone!
Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in
these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly
increasing.
Firstly, we must clarify what loneliness means.
Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a
disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness,
which renders their present company around them meaningless.
That person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young or
old. They basically find it very hard to connect with others and experiences
emancipation from meaningful relationships.
This is not to be confused with being alone.
Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a
person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the
opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.
What are the common symptoms of being alone, if you are reading this book? I
bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.
You think your problems are so unique that other people do not understand
As a result, you feel that other people in the world has friends and you don’t
You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
You feel that when you do something wrong, you get extremely embarrassed
When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
Feeling shy and scared of others
Experiencing low self-esteem
Feeling angry, defensive and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
Being convinced there is something wrong with you
Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
Losing your capacity to be assertive' feeling "invisible"
Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
5-
, Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide
6-
,Crowded Yet Isolated
Ever had that feeling that your wife or husband doesn’t understand you? Your
spouse or significant other is right beside you yet it doesn’t fill that gap.
You may be surrounded by many people, yet their company ‘drowns’ you deeper
into loneliness!
People feel that way because we are all unique and different. You see:
There is no one in the entire universe that will have the same personality, ideas,
way of life and needs like you. NONE! Not even twins! How can anyone fulfill all
those needs to cater every individual?
There us a quote from the bible that says if I try to remove the speck from my
neighbor’s eye, I must first remove the plank from my OWN eye then I can see
clearly before I attempt to remove his speck.
How does this apply?
By understanding that other people are not obliged to fulfill our needs, we
somehow learn to expect less from others and it eases the pain, because we
stop expecting more from others! We learn to accept them better and judge
others less so it creates the first step to curing loneliness – giving others slack!
Remember that we are the sum of the five people we spend most of our time with.
If you are mixing with a crowd that is negative and makes you feel down all the
time, it is no surprise why you are lonely and negative. It is no surprise that
children move out from their homes away from negative parents or stop
interacting with certain groups of friends all together. Don’t let the poison drain
your energy.
7-
,Emotional Pains in a loveless World
How does the agony of loneliness seem to penetrate the hearts of men and
women throughout the world? Even superstars who have been the icon of
generations and admired by millions feel unfulfilled (e.g. Janis Joplin, Kurt
Cobain)
The feeling of loneliness is radically due to the failure of man in loving others.
The symptoms of loneliness magnetize the effects of the pain to the extent that it
forces the focus of attention more on ourselves and creates a self-preoccupation
that creates an obstacle to love others.
Ever had a stomachache? Who are you thinking of at that moment?
This illustrates the point that we are only thinking of ourselves. It shows a terribly
pain filled world in which we live in.
Furthermore, the pain does go away like a stomachache. The so called Mid-life
crisis is turning more into a ‘young adult’ crisis now with suicide rates hitting the
roof and most diseases in the world today mentally induced or cured in
psychiatric wards.
The basis of trust between people is eroding and less and less people are
opening up to one another. By failing to open up to others, the lonely symptoms
spring up as other people will not open up to you if you do not open yourself to
others first.
It is said that if you want to be surrounded by friends, be a friend to others first.
8-
,Love – The Verb, Not The Feeling
Love, or rather the lack of it constitutes the loneliness breeding in a person’s
heart. It is a scary fact to note that we are largely shaped by others (remember
the sum of five people we spend most of our time with) who hold our destiny in
THEIR hands.
We are what we are today – a product of those who loved us or have refused to
love us.
Love gives life to others. But what is most important is to remember is that in
order to love someone else effectively, we must love ourselves first! You can’t
give what you don’t have!
You may think you ‘love’ a beautiful girl or a handsome guy if you don’t love
yourself (there is a song that goes: I am nobody until I met you or my life is
meaningless until you came into the picture) but that is not love.
You may admire that person because he or she is good looking, you may
worship that person because you think he or she is better, you may even
sacrifice your life for him or her for your own selfish, self-gratifying ego, but you
do not love.
Love is a verb. It is an action. The feeling of ‘love’ is actually a product of the verb
or action. By loving yourself first, it forms the basis or foundation by which you
love others without which it is merely a baseless act of self-deception that
appears to be loving.
But how do we love ourselves if we have never been loved? In the next chapter
we will explore this area.
9-
, Learning How to Love
How do I take the first step to deal with loneliness? By learning to love. But first
we must examine the paradox to love.
When we are lonely, we feel like we are in an unbearable prison. By its very
nature of loneliness is just like the stomach ache – the attention centers only on
ourselves. So we try and fill this emptiness by finding others who will give us that
very love we need.
People often try to do things for others to gain their love. They barter trade favors
with each other thinking that they are loving people. We know that our loneliness
can only be filled by the love of others and therefore we must feel loved by others.
The paradox of love is this:
If we seek to fill the void of our own loneliness in seeking love from others, we
will inevitably find no consolation but only a deeper desolation. In other words, if
we seek the love that we need, we will never find it.
When a person orients his life towards the satisfaction of his own needs, when
he goes out to seek the love which he needs, he is basically self-centered, no
matter how pitiful he is. As long as he focuses on himself, his ability to love will
always remain stunted.
What is the solution then?
If a person seeks not to receive love, but rather to give it without strings attached,
he will become lovable and he will most certainly be loved by others in the end.
We must stop being concerned with ourselves and begin to be concerned with
others. Beginning with the end in mind – which focuses the results of the act of
love others without concerned with self-gain, is the first step to gaining love and
easing the pain of loneliness.
Every single person on earth has some capacity to love.
10 -
