RESPONSES AS EISPU
Amar is a twenty-three year old young man given to drugs, and he approaches the counsellor
to get some help for his problem. He says:
‘It all happened like fun. Actually I did not want to experiment with drugs, but my
companions forced this habit on me. Once I started, I liked the kick I got from the drug. Now I am
unable to get rid of this habit. I am mostly preoccupied with obtaining the drug by all means. My
whole life revolves around drug. If I stop for a day, my hands tremble.’
Counsellor A: How foolish you are to have spoiled your precious life so
early, my son. Your respectable parents may consider you a disgrace
to your family. Is it so difficult that you can't give it up? I wonder if
you have the goodwill to give it up.
Counsellor B: You have become dependent on drugs by prolonged use;
and the trembling hands are a sign of withdrawal symptom.
You are heading towards a chronic stage, as far as I see.
Counsellor C: Nowadays youngsters get into such habits, and it is quite
common in high schools and colleges. It is not such
a serious problem, and with some help I am sure you can
get over this difficulty and start a new life.
Counsellor D: I would appreciate your telling me how long you are taking drugs.
Counsellor E: You are worried about your condition as a result
of taking drugs, and upset about your inability to come
out of the habit.
You have seen five counsellors giving five different responses to the presentation of the one
and the same problem. One can invent even more types of responses. Let us limit ourselves to the
above five types of responses, and analyse them with regard to their usefulness in the counselling
process. Counselling psychologists have grouped the responses which counsellors usually make into
five categories, depending upon the intentions of the counsellors. The intention underlying the
responses is taken as the criterion to place them under different categories. Let us go into the details
of the nature of the five responses.
1) EVALUATIVE OR ADVISING RESPONSESi
Counsellor A indeed is very much concerned about the counsellee Amar. His response on
account of his concern for Amar comes in the form of a reprimand; an advice though given indirectly,
is making a judgement about the relative goodness, appropriateness or effectiveness of the way Amar
is functioning. Whenever you give advice, or correct, or moralize and even suggest, you make an
evaluative response. Of course, those who give advice mean something very positive, and their
concern for the clients also is great. It has its own place in counselling; and on the whole it may not
be that useful as it appears to be. Not every client can see the care and concern behind such a
reprimand. The counsellor feels sorry that such a young man like Amar should spoil his life in his
tender age. The reasons why such an evaluative response may not be helpful are many and we shall
see some of them:
i. It alienates the client from the counsellor and he/she will not further cooperate with the
counsellor lest he/she should receive more reprimands. People tend to avoid punishments and
, scolding, and if the counsellor at the beginning itself were to be punitive by his/her words, the
counsellee will only attempt to leave the situation.
ii. It makes the client feel worse than what he/she felt when he/she came for the counselling.
While coming for the counselling, the counsellee would have come with the expectation of
being understood and helped, but on the contrary an evaluative response puts him/her off, and
he/she depreciates him/herself more than he/she did earlier.
iii. It undermines the capacity of the client to solve his/her own problem. By just giving your
solution to the problem, you deprive the client of the opportunity to mobilize his/her resources
for the solution of his/her problem.
iv. It is one way of avoiding involvement with the client. When you are involved, you will
explore the possibility of making him/her take the necessary steps; but when you are not
involved, you just give a ready-made advice.
v. Perhaps you do not care for the client sufficiently, for if only you care for the client, you will
take the trouble of sitting together and spending some time to facilitate him/her to explore, to
understand, and to act.
vi. In a way, in giving advice, you indicate that your judgement is better than that of the client.
vii. Advice usually betrays your attitude rather than the attitude of the client.
viii. In giving advice, you may be indirectly inviting the client to enter into the unhealthy
psychological game called ‘Yes, but.’ Every suggestion you make is eagerly accepted, and the
client presents a certain difficulty why he/she cannot put that piece of advice into practice.
After a number of suggestions, for which you receive counter arguments, you finally give up
giving advice, feeling very bad. Here both of you have played a perfect game: ‘Why don't
you …’ by you, and ‘Yes, but…’ by the client (which is complementing). By this game,
nothing is achieved, except feeling negative by the counsellor and the counsellee. People
usually will not carry out decisions made by others. Advices are nothing other than decisions
made by the giver of advice. Usually the client rejects the advice by giving arguments against
the advice. If at all the client accepts your advice, it may be because he/she does not want to
offend you by his/her non-acceptance of your advice but later he/she is not likely to carry it
out.
Can we say that evaluative responses are all bad? Are there not moments when giving advice
is beneficial? Perhaps we need to consider the type of persons and the type of situations one might
encounter.
(1) May not be useful:
i. People who are capable of self-management and are highly intelligent in fact resent your
giving advice. They can run their own show.
ii. People who have enough resources but are unwilling to tap their resources to make their
situation better may become lazier and become ever dependent on you.
(2) May be useful:
1. Children and old people (who are practically like children) may be helped by advice.
Children have not built up their ego strongly and are not able to stand on their own. They
need to depend on elders whose authority counts much for the children. Old people too may
respond well to suggestions or advice since their defences are deteriorating, and they stand
Amar is a twenty-three year old young man given to drugs, and he approaches the counsellor
to get some help for his problem. He says:
‘It all happened like fun. Actually I did not want to experiment with drugs, but my
companions forced this habit on me. Once I started, I liked the kick I got from the drug. Now I am
unable to get rid of this habit. I am mostly preoccupied with obtaining the drug by all means. My
whole life revolves around drug. If I stop for a day, my hands tremble.’
Counsellor A: How foolish you are to have spoiled your precious life so
early, my son. Your respectable parents may consider you a disgrace
to your family. Is it so difficult that you can't give it up? I wonder if
you have the goodwill to give it up.
Counsellor B: You have become dependent on drugs by prolonged use;
and the trembling hands are a sign of withdrawal symptom.
You are heading towards a chronic stage, as far as I see.
Counsellor C: Nowadays youngsters get into such habits, and it is quite
common in high schools and colleges. It is not such
a serious problem, and with some help I am sure you can
get over this difficulty and start a new life.
Counsellor D: I would appreciate your telling me how long you are taking drugs.
Counsellor E: You are worried about your condition as a result
of taking drugs, and upset about your inability to come
out of the habit.
You have seen five counsellors giving five different responses to the presentation of the one
and the same problem. One can invent even more types of responses. Let us limit ourselves to the
above five types of responses, and analyse them with regard to their usefulness in the counselling
process. Counselling psychologists have grouped the responses which counsellors usually make into
five categories, depending upon the intentions of the counsellors. The intention underlying the
responses is taken as the criterion to place them under different categories. Let us go into the details
of the nature of the five responses.
1) EVALUATIVE OR ADVISING RESPONSESi
Counsellor A indeed is very much concerned about the counsellee Amar. His response on
account of his concern for Amar comes in the form of a reprimand; an advice though given indirectly,
is making a judgement about the relative goodness, appropriateness or effectiveness of the way Amar
is functioning. Whenever you give advice, or correct, or moralize and even suggest, you make an
evaluative response. Of course, those who give advice mean something very positive, and their
concern for the clients also is great. It has its own place in counselling; and on the whole it may not
be that useful as it appears to be. Not every client can see the care and concern behind such a
reprimand. The counsellor feels sorry that such a young man like Amar should spoil his life in his
tender age. The reasons why such an evaluative response may not be helpful are many and we shall
see some of them:
i. It alienates the client from the counsellor and he/she will not further cooperate with the
counsellor lest he/she should receive more reprimands. People tend to avoid punishments and
, scolding, and if the counsellor at the beginning itself were to be punitive by his/her words, the
counsellee will only attempt to leave the situation.
ii. It makes the client feel worse than what he/she felt when he/she came for the counselling.
While coming for the counselling, the counsellee would have come with the expectation of
being understood and helped, but on the contrary an evaluative response puts him/her off, and
he/she depreciates him/herself more than he/she did earlier.
iii. It undermines the capacity of the client to solve his/her own problem. By just giving your
solution to the problem, you deprive the client of the opportunity to mobilize his/her resources
for the solution of his/her problem.
iv. It is one way of avoiding involvement with the client. When you are involved, you will
explore the possibility of making him/her take the necessary steps; but when you are not
involved, you just give a ready-made advice.
v. Perhaps you do not care for the client sufficiently, for if only you care for the client, you will
take the trouble of sitting together and spending some time to facilitate him/her to explore, to
understand, and to act.
vi. In a way, in giving advice, you indicate that your judgement is better than that of the client.
vii. Advice usually betrays your attitude rather than the attitude of the client.
viii. In giving advice, you may be indirectly inviting the client to enter into the unhealthy
psychological game called ‘Yes, but.’ Every suggestion you make is eagerly accepted, and the
client presents a certain difficulty why he/she cannot put that piece of advice into practice.
After a number of suggestions, for which you receive counter arguments, you finally give up
giving advice, feeling very bad. Here both of you have played a perfect game: ‘Why don't
you …’ by you, and ‘Yes, but…’ by the client (which is complementing). By this game,
nothing is achieved, except feeling negative by the counsellor and the counsellee. People
usually will not carry out decisions made by others. Advices are nothing other than decisions
made by the giver of advice. Usually the client rejects the advice by giving arguments against
the advice. If at all the client accepts your advice, it may be because he/she does not want to
offend you by his/her non-acceptance of your advice but later he/she is not likely to carry it
out.
Can we say that evaluative responses are all bad? Are there not moments when giving advice
is beneficial? Perhaps we need to consider the type of persons and the type of situations one might
encounter.
(1) May not be useful:
i. People who are capable of self-management and are highly intelligent in fact resent your
giving advice. They can run their own show.
ii. People who have enough resources but are unwilling to tap their resources to make their
situation better may become lazier and become ever dependent on you.
(2) May be useful:
1. Children and old people (who are practically like children) may be helped by advice.
Children have not built up their ego strongly and are not able to stand on their own. They
need to depend on elders whose authority counts much for the children. Old people too may
respond well to suggestions or advice since their defences are deteriorating, and they stand
