1. Born into intimacy
2. About siblings and peers
3. Intimate relationships: adolescents and adults
4. Intimacy in later life
→ You can explain the development of intimate relationships (with parents,
siblings, peers, partners) over the life span in light of different development
transitions.
1. Born into intimacy
- Historical perspective
- Effects of the quality of the parents relationship on children
- Dealing with conflicts between adults
Historical perspective
St. Augustine (354-430)
‘’Peace in society depends upon peace in the family.’’
Also:
‘’A wife is under the power of her husband, the husband not under the power of the wife. The
husband may punish her. A wife is obliged to follow her husband to wherever he decides to
fix his residence.’’
The family as an enclave; Economic unit
- Until about 100 years ago, violence against children and other family members was a
private matter and was not or hardly considered criminal
- Children were the property and responsibility of the father
Effects of adult relationships on children
- Nowadays, romantic attraction and intimacy play a primary role in forming a family
unit
- Children born into this unit are born into intimacy
Importance of adult intimacy for children
- Their parent’s relationship is the first model of adult intimacy
- From a very young age, ‘’children are acutely sensitive to the quality of the interaction
of the adults around them’’ (p. 456)
- ‘’Not only overt hostility predicts distress in children, but also signs that parents are
disengaged or withdrawn from each other.’’
Appraisal of conflict
, Primary appraisal
- What is going on: good, bad, neutral?
Secondary appraisal
- If bad: why is there a conflict, have I done something wrong?
Often self-blame if the cause of parents’ behavior is not identified resulting in:
- Pulling back, guilt, shame, depressive symptoms
- A desire to intervene, angry, try to distract attention
If the child’s behavior does end the conflict, it will likely be repeated and
reinforced → shaping models about attachment and intimacy
Learn how to handle stress within a family
High satisfaction between intimate partners is related to a secure parent-child relationship
and positive interaction in families
→ almost no unresolved stress
Secure relationship with mother + many conflicts between partners = emotional insecurity
and stress for the child within the family
Dealing with conflicts between adults
Unbalanced conflicts
within family
- High frequency
2. About siblings and peers
3. Intimate relationships: adolescents and adults
4. Intimacy in later life
→ You can explain the development of intimate relationships (with parents,
siblings, peers, partners) over the life span in light of different development
transitions.
1. Born into intimacy
- Historical perspective
- Effects of the quality of the parents relationship on children
- Dealing with conflicts between adults
Historical perspective
St. Augustine (354-430)
‘’Peace in society depends upon peace in the family.’’
Also:
‘’A wife is under the power of her husband, the husband not under the power of the wife. The
husband may punish her. A wife is obliged to follow her husband to wherever he decides to
fix his residence.’’
The family as an enclave; Economic unit
- Until about 100 years ago, violence against children and other family members was a
private matter and was not or hardly considered criminal
- Children were the property and responsibility of the father
Effects of adult relationships on children
- Nowadays, romantic attraction and intimacy play a primary role in forming a family
unit
- Children born into this unit are born into intimacy
Importance of adult intimacy for children
- Their parent’s relationship is the first model of adult intimacy
- From a very young age, ‘’children are acutely sensitive to the quality of the interaction
of the adults around them’’ (p. 456)
- ‘’Not only overt hostility predicts distress in children, but also signs that parents are
disengaged or withdrawn from each other.’’
Appraisal of conflict
, Primary appraisal
- What is going on: good, bad, neutral?
Secondary appraisal
- If bad: why is there a conflict, have I done something wrong?
Often self-blame if the cause of parents’ behavior is not identified resulting in:
- Pulling back, guilt, shame, depressive symptoms
- A desire to intervene, angry, try to distract attention
If the child’s behavior does end the conflict, it will likely be repeated and
reinforced → shaping models about attachment and intimacy
Learn how to handle stress within a family
High satisfaction between intimate partners is related to a secure parent-child relationship
and positive interaction in families
→ almost no unresolved stress
Secure relationship with mother + many conflicts between partners = emotional insecurity
and stress for the child within the family
Dealing with conflicts between adults
Unbalanced conflicts
within family
- High frequency
