Attraction, Relationships, and Love – Chapter 12
From Attraction to Liking
Physical attractiveness
- “what is beautiful is good” belief
more friendly, sociable, and trustworthy
- biological bases of physical attractiveness
1. faces and bodies that are symmetrical are judged to be more attractive
2. faces and bodies that suggest access to resources are attractive
e.g. men living in cultures with scarce resources find heavier women more attractive
- experiential and expectational bases of physical attractiveness
1. we like what we see most
2. we like people who are physically attractive, the opposite is also true
Similarity
- similarity breeds attraction and the better people get to know one another, the more their
liking depends on the similarity
- why similarity increases liking
− similarity signals who is “me and mine”
− similarity signals familiarity
− similarity contributes to mastery
similarity makes it more likely that interactions with strangers will be positive
− similarity validates connectedness
Positive interaction
- people often come to like people they interact with, even if thrown together by chance
- why interaction increases liking
− interaction makes other familiar
− interaction contributes to mastery
e.g. debating politics far into the night, listening to an inspiring lecture
− interaction helps us feel connected
- exception: when interaction fails to meet our needs or even harms us
From Acquaintance to Friend: Relationship Development
Exchange of rewards: what’s in it for me and for you?
- people who know each other casually typically share exchange relationship
a relationship in which people offer rewards
activities that directly reward both partners in order to receive benefits in return
e.g. playing tennis together
- when relationships develop into friendships, people often share benefits equally, keep less
track of who deserves what, and assume that their partner will do the same
Self-disclosure: let’s talk about me and you
- disclosing something about yourself makes both strangers and friends like you more
- disclosing more than appropriate makes others uncomfortable
- advantages
− fulfills a listener’s need for connectedness
− facilitated coordination of mutual activities by knowing other’s abilities, preferences
From Attraction to Liking
Physical attractiveness
- “what is beautiful is good” belief
more friendly, sociable, and trustworthy
- biological bases of physical attractiveness
1. faces and bodies that are symmetrical are judged to be more attractive
2. faces and bodies that suggest access to resources are attractive
e.g. men living in cultures with scarce resources find heavier women more attractive
- experiential and expectational bases of physical attractiveness
1. we like what we see most
2. we like people who are physically attractive, the opposite is also true
Similarity
- similarity breeds attraction and the better people get to know one another, the more their
liking depends on the similarity
- why similarity increases liking
− similarity signals who is “me and mine”
− similarity signals familiarity
− similarity contributes to mastery
similarity makes it more likely that interactions with strangers will be positive
− similarity validates connectedness
Positive interaction
- people often come to like people they interact with, even if thrown together by chance
- why interaction increases liking
− interaction makes other familiar
− interaction contributes to mastery
e.g. debating politics far into the night, listening to an inspiring lecture
− interaction helps us feel connected
- exception: when interaction fails to meet our needs or even harms us
From Acquaintance to Friend: Relationship Development
Exchange of rewards: what’s in it for me and for you?
- people who know each other casually typically share exchange relationship
a relationship in which people offer rewards
activities that directly reward both partners in order to receive benefits in return
e.g. playing tennis together
- when relationships develop into friendships, people often share benefits equally, keep less
track of who deserves what, and assume that their partner will do the same
Self-disclosure: let’s talk about me and you
- disclosing something about yourself makes both strangers and friends like you more
- disclosing more than appropriate makes others uncomfortable
- advantages
− fulfills a listener’s need for connectedness
− facilitated coordination of mutual activities by knowing other’s abilities, preferences
