A WorkLife4You Guide
Communication Skills for
Healthy Relationships
Communication is vital in creating and communicate about a technical issue),
maintaining a relationship, whether it be an using colloquialisms or jargon, using
intimate relationship—such as with a partner, ambiguous word choices, etc.
child, or friend—or a professional • Emotionalbarriers. There is a greater
relationship—such as with a co-worker, potential for misunderstanding when
supervisor, or client. Your communication emotions are involved. For example, a
skills affect how you solve problems, how sender who is upset or angry may not be
you resolve conflict, and the level of trust you able to effectively communicate his or
generate in your relationships. A lack of her feelings and ideas. A receiver in a
communication may result in confusion, similar state may ignore or distort what
misunderstandings, and the development of the other person is saying.
poor communication patterns. This guide
provides strategies to help you foster • Environmental barriers. This can
effective communication skills. include a number of factors including,
interruptions, distractions, physical
Barriers to Effective Communication environment issues (lighting, noise,
comfort), talking too softly, physical
Barriers to communication are things that distance, a physical barrier between
prevent people from understanding a sender and recipient, etc.
message, or understanding it the same way.
Some common barriers to communication • Timing barriers. The timing of a
include: communication can affect it’s ability to
be understood. For example, there may
• Poor listening skills. Many not be enough time to communicate the
people consider speaking the most message fully, or it may be too early or
important element of communication. too late in the day for someone to give
However, the communication his or her full
good listening skills are critical to attention.
effective communication. They help you
better understand the information other • Perceptual barriers. Each person
people are trying to convey, improve experiences events—including
your rapport with others, and improve communications—in a way that is
your problem solving skills. unique to him or her. A sender will
communicate in a way that makes sense
• Language barriers. The words you use to in his or her reality. A receiver
communicate may create a barrier to understands a communication in a
communication. This can be as basic as similar manner. However, these two
communicating with someone who doesn’t realities may not be the same, so the
speak the same language, or a subtle as message may be perceived differently,
interpreting the words you use in a different hindering communication. Variables
way. It can also include poor use of language including age, education, gender, social
by the communicator (e.g., using words and economic status, cultural
incorrectly, poor grammar), a lack of background, temperament, health,
understanding of the language or context religion, political beliefs, etc. can alter
(e.g., a non-technical person trying to
, perceptions and create barriers to distracted; this indicates disinterest or
communication. opposition.
• Filtering. Think of the child’s game of – Avoid distracting behaviors, such as
telephone, where a message is passed from playing with a pencil, drumming your
one person to another. In most cases, the fingers, jingling change in your pocket,
message, as finally received, is very different etc. Thesemake it difficult for you to
from the one that was originally sent. That is listen and distract the speaker.
filtering. Filtering occurs in a variety of ways • Useacknowledging responses
that can be a barrier to effective such as “uh-huh,” “I see,” “you don’t
communication, for example, when an say,” “okay,” etc. These encourage
assistant, co-worker or spouse takes a the other person to speak and show
message on your behalf, how someone that you are interested in what he or
leaves a message on an answering machine, she is saying.
etc.
• Paraphrase what you
Listening believe the other
person has said. This
Listening involves hearing and paying attention will indicate that you have been
to the speaker. However, hearing and effective listening, and ensure that your
listening are very different abilities. Consider the understanding is accurate. At the end
following tips to help you become a more of the conversation you may wish to
effective listener: summarize the discussion, as well.
• Clear your mind to avoid • Ask questions. Don’t interrupt, but
wandering mentally. Your internal at an opportune time clarify anything
dialogue— deciding what you want to that seems unclear to you.
say, reacting to something the other
person said, other issues that may be on • Pay attention to the
you mind— can distract you from speaker’s nonverbal
actively listening to the other person. messages, by observing tone of
voice and body language. This can
• Focus on what the other give clues as to what the other person
person is saying. Give is thinking and feeling and how he or
the other person your full attention and she is responding to what you say.
listen carefully to what he or she is
saying. Think of this as a opportunity to • Respond constructively. Let
learn something about the other person. the other person know you value
what he or she is saying, even if you
• Don’t interrupt. Allow the other don’t agree. Try to avoid responding
person to talk without interruption until negatively or directively, for example
he or she gets to the point.
criticizing, ridiculing, dismissing,
• Usebody language to indicate your diverting (talking about yourself
interest and attention, and encourage the rather than about what the other
other person to speak: person has said) or rejecting the other
– Keep up good eye contact. person or what they are saying.
– Lean forward, nod your head, make • Respond appropriately.
encouraging gestures. Make sure you clearly understand
what the other person wants from
– Keep your body relaxed, open and you and respond appropriately. If you
focused on the speaker. Avoid crossed aren’t certain what the other person
arms and legs, clenched fists, turning the wants, ask for clarification. Try to
eyes/head/body away or being easily avoid giving unwanted diagnosis,
Communication Skills for
Healthy Relationships
Communication is vital in creating and communicate about a technical issue),
maintaining a relationship, whether it be an using colloquialisms or jargon, using
intimate relationship—such as with a partner, ambiguous word choices, etc.
child, or friend—or a professional • Emotionalbarriers. There is a greater
relationship—such as with a co-worker, potential for misunderstanding when
supervisor, or client. Your communication emotions are involved. For example, a
skills affect how you solve problems, how sender who is upset or angry may not be
you resolve conflict, and the level of trust you able to effectively communicate his or
generate in your relationships. A lack of her feelings and ideas. A receiver in a
communication may result in confusion, similar state may ignore or distort what
misunderstandings, and the development of the other person is saying.
poor communication patterns. This guide
provides strategies to help you foster • Environmental barriers. This can
effective communication skills. include a number of factors including,
interruptions, distractions, physical
Barriers to Effective Communication environment issues (lighting, noise,
comfort), talking too softly, physical
Barriers to communication are things that distance, a physical barrier between
prevent people from understanding a sender and recipient, etc.
message, or understanding it the same way.
Some common barriers to communication • Timing barriers. The timing of a
include: communication can affect it’s ability to
be understood. For example, there may
• Poor listening skills. Many not be enough time to communicate the
people consider speaking the most message fully, or it may be too early or
important element of communication. too late in the day for someone to give
However, the communication his or her full
good listening skills are critical to attention.
effective communication. They help you
better understand the information other • Perceptual barriers. Each person
people are trying to convey, improve experiences events—including
your rapport with others, and improve communications—in a way that is
your problem solving skills. unique to him or her. A sender will
communicate in a way that makes sense
• Language barriers. The words you use to in his or her reality. A receiver
communicate may create a barrier to understands a communication in a
communication. This can be as basic as similar manner. However, these two
communicating with someone who doesn’t realities may not be the same, so the
speak the same language, or a subtle as message may be perceived differently,
interpreting the words you use in a different hindering communication. Variables
way. It can also include poor use of language including age, education, gender, social
by the communicator (e.g., using words and economic status, cultural
incorrectly, poor grammar), a lack of background, temperament, health,
understanding of the language or context religion, political beliefs, etc. can alter
(e.g., a non-technical person trying to
, perceptions and create barriers to distracted; this indicates disinterest or
communication. opposition.
• Filtering. Think of the child’s game of – Avoid distracting behaviors, such as
telephone, where a message is passed from playing with a pencil, drumming your
one person to another. In most cases, the fingers, jingling change in your pocket,
message, as finally received, is very different etc. Thesemake it difficult for you to
from the one that was originally sent. That is listen and distract the speaker.
filtering. Filtering occurs in a variety of ways • Useacknowledging responses
that can be a barrier to effective such as “uh-huh,” “I see,” “you don’t
communication, for example, when an say,” “okay,” etc. These encourage
assistant, co-worker or spouse takes a the other person to speak and show
message on your behalf, how someone that you are interested in what he or
leaves a message on an answering machine, she is saying.
etc.
• Paraphrase what you
Listening believe the other
person has said. This
Listening involves hearing and paying attention will indicate that you have been
to the speaker. However, hearing and effective listening, and ensure that your
listening are very different abilities. Consider the understanding is accurate. At the end
following tips to help you become a more of the conversation you may wish to
effective listener: summarize the discussion, as well.
• Clear your mind to avoid • Ask questions. Don’t interrupt, but
wandering mentally. Your internal at an opportune time clarify anything
dialogue— deciding what you want to that seems unclear to you.
say, reacting to something the other
person said, other issues that may be on • Pay attention to the
you mind— can distract you from speaker’s nonverbal
actively listening to the other person. messages, by observing tone of
voice and body language. This can
• Focus on what the other give clues as to what the other person
person is saying. Give is thinking and feeling and how he or
the other person your full attention and she is responding to what you say.
listen carefully to what he or she is
saying. Think of this as a opportunity to • Respond constructively. Let
learn something about the other person. the other person know you value
what he or she is saying, even if you
• Don’t interrupt. Allow the other don’t agree. Try to avoid responding
person to talk without interruption until negatively or directively, for example
he or she gets to the point.
criticizing, ridiculing, dismissing,
• Usebody language to indicate your diverting (talking about yourself
interest and attention, and encourage the rather than about what the other
other person to speak: person has said) or rejecting the other
– Keep up good eye contact. person or what they are saying.
– Lean forward, nod your head, make • Respond appropriately.
encouraging gestures. Make sure you clearly understand
what the other person wants from
– Keep your body relaxed, open and you and respond appropriately. If you
focused on the speaker. Avoid crossed aren’t certain what the other person
arms and legs, clenched fists, turning the wants, ask for clarification. Try to
eyes/head/body away or being easily avoid giving unwanted diagnosis,
