Psychology of Interpersonal and Social Relationships
Topic 1
Family Relationships: the family is a social body that generates a new human being, by connecting genders, generations,
and lineages (Cigoli & Scabini, 2006)
As a form of relations family itself is:
The condition of the family as a group, system, or unit that has a structure and boundaries that make it
identifiable.
It is composed of parts that are linked together
It is connected to a social context
It has a history and goes through changes over time with different family member additions or passing away.
Generating, as a term of giving life to a new human being, a fruit of the bond between generants, who in turn are
generated.
The aim of the family is generativity, generating the next generation, generating ties, culture, and minds. Generants
transmit to the newborn, the generated, a genetic and symbolic heritage. The newborn can renovate this heritage. The
family itself makes humans be humans themselves. (U. Bronfenbrenner)
Family is an organization of primary relationships that connect three fundamental human differences: genders,
generations, and family lineages. The keyword to the organization of the family revolves around:
Relationships (the organizational/relational principle)
Symbolic dimensions (the symbolic principle)
Exchange dynamics (the dynamic principle)
Family transitions
Family relationships are primary since:
They are the first relationships encountered by human beings
Family members are bonded together as people (in the uniqueness of their existence)
They give us our primary identity (name and surname)
Family relationships are constrained; the degree of freedom of choice of family relationships has cultural and structural
limits. Family relationships are dramatic because binding and keeping together differences is difficult and conflictual.
But from the meeting of differences between renewment and novelty can arise. Family relationships produce a relational
commodity for the next generation that is essential to the human community.
1. The etymology of relationships comes from: rĕlĭgo, as, āvi, ātum, āre → to link, to tie, to bind
2. Reciprocal bond among family members mainly through role attributions: rĕ-fĕro, fers, re-tŭli, re-lātum, re-ferre
→ to attribute, to refer
,Referral of the meaning of the meanings and key values that permeate exchanges between genders, generations, and
lineages.
Relationships are what bind together subjects to each other:
is a third element
is a never-ending accumulation and sedimentation of values, myths, rituals, and meanings
is a constraint (structure, hierarchy, traumas) and an opportunity (resources) that connects past, present, and future
Interaction as its etymology: Inter-ago, inter-agis, inter-egi, inter-actŭm, inter-agĕre → act/behave between
Interaction is the action between the parties, is what the subjects construct through their shared actions, and it is
observable in the here and now when the interaction itself is taking place.
The cores of family relationships are formed through ties between partners, parents/children, siblings, and between the
family and the community.
The symbolic qualities of the family relationships’ structure of meaning: family-ness.
The affective dimension considers care and dedication towards the other and the bond, it’s an enduring attitude that
shows emotions. The ethical dimension is about will and duty to respect the value of the bond and to repair the unjust.
Family ties are constituted by loyalty commitments, and there is no getting away from the responsibilities that family
members have to each other. The well-being state derives from the balance of these two dimensions.
However, the family can be a place for the person’s well-being, but also a place of severe mental suffering. Trust/hope and
loyalty/justice coexist with their opposites, as in lack of trust and prevarication.
Giving (gift) is an expression of an act of trust, constitutive of the bond. It requires unconditional openness toward the
other and the acceptance of a task. Gifts coexist with debt and obligation, since a gift creates a debt, unbalance, in those
who receive. Receiving means acknowledging what the other has done for me and how much I owe him/her for this debt.
,The symbolic exchange typical of family relationships consists of giving the other person what he/she is supposed to
need; it is shaped by trust that the other will reciprocate with a symbolic equivalent when he or she can. (As gratitude is
not the absence of expectations, but not setting deadlines.)
Parents and children are united by both gifts and debt to previous generations. In healthy family relationships, one
reciprocates due to a desire to give back. It does not necessarily mean giving back to the people one has received but
extending the notion of giving to future generations and participating in social and community life. It is a long,
multigenerational process.
The Family Life Space (FLS) is a graphic symbolic instrument developed by Danuta Mostwin in the late 70’s to be used
in clinical settings. Its theoretical and conceptual framework draws on the general systems theory and symbolic
interactionism. The FLS defines the family space as a bio-psycho-social territory dense with meaning (Barker & Barker,
1990). The starting assumption is the spatial representability of psychic reality.
Levels of analysis:
1. Graphic-symbolic level (list, number and type of symbols; distribution of symbols with respect to the circle;
family boundaries and relationships with the environment; topological relationships between symbols (people,
events, organizations): proximity/distance among symbols; absence of significant people, events, organizations;
quality of relationships and possible omissions; order in which the graphic elements are marked). The Family Life
Space can also be intended as a gestalt (→ global impression)
2. Verbal level
3. Emotional-relational level, observation of the interaction in the here and now
Family transitions are key passages in the family history, which are triggered by critical events. Transitions bring to the
light the quality of the relationships that connect family members, transitions put relationships to the test, highlighting
their strengths and weaknesses. They are group transitions, they affect the entire family organization, they challenge
relational balances, and affect all generations involved in the transition.
Critical events are specific events that expose a family to crisis. Crisis (from the ancient Greek κρίσις «choice, decision»,
from the verb κρίνω «separate, select, distinguish, judge») ≠ STRESS indicates important, symbolically charged events
that mark transitions involving the whole family. Critical events are points of no return: they potentially demand change in
family relationships, given that the family’s earlier mode of functioning is no longer suited to its present aims and
purposes. Crisis points to the family’s difficulty in coping with change, but they are also valuable opportunities to
transform relationships.
Transitions are brought on by gaining (births) or losing members (deaths). Other transitions are connected to the family’s
relationship with society (children who go to school) or with other contexts (job loss). There are transitions that are less
focused and difficult to pinpoint in time (transition to adulthood). In general, they have to do with the theme of loss, it’s a
process of distancing from someone or something. They require members to detach themselves from earlier relational
patterns and find a new way of functioning, which is risky and painful. They connect the interactive and relational levels
and have both short-term and long-term effects.
Transition is not to be conceived as a simple move from one position to another. It implies the attainment of an aim
through generational development tasks. Transitions call for action, for a decision regarding how to restructure the family
, functioning. Families need to draw on their internal and external resources (individual, relational, material) to innovate its
way of functioning.
The couple bond and the construction of the pact aim to make, nurture, care for, and renew the couple’s pact while
building an identity as a couple. Marriage is the explicit act and the ritual that marks the transition in a strong sense.
Cohabitation does not have a specific ritual and is a more nuanced passage.
Pact is a constitutive element of any social structure. It derives from the Latin pax-pacis = peace, referring to a tension, a
potential conflict between the different participants.
Two mental ingredients are necessary for a pact to work properly:
Acknowledgement of the others’ differences
Acknowledgement of similarities.
The formation of the couple is based on reciprocity rule. The pact has a twofold valence:
Affective where it involved the emotional and sexual sphere (passion, affection, love, erotic aspects), where
partners feel recognized in their uniqueness and fulfill deep desires and needs, where the partners develop a
reciprocal trust (openness, hope, trust.) it is based on a secret agreement, an interlocking set of unconscious needs,
desires and expectations and fears that links the two partners.
Ethical refers to the commitment to respect the pact and to meet the obligations it brings with it. It refers to the
commitment and responsibility that partners assume when they establish a relationship. Commitment is expressed
by mutual support, the ability to accept and respect each other’s limitations. It is based on an explicit pact, a
promise.
Developing and keeping alive both the affective and the ethical aspects of the pact enables the building of a shared
identity as a couple (we-ness). The we-ness needs to be built and nurtured and kept alive over time. The couple is at the
crossroads of two lineages and two-family histories: intergenerational mediation device, a transmission belt. The couple is
a new, unprecedented system in which the two partners bring deficiencies and resources inherited from the families of
origin (a sort of baggage), but also has the possibility of renewing and transforming this heritage and transmitting it to the
next generations. The couple can build their identity by differentiating themselves from the respective families of origin,
while maintaining a connection with them and recognizing their heritage through the process of distinction.
The process of distinction is successful when partners recognize the heritage and feel free to revisit it in order to build
different relational styles while the similarities and differences between generations are preserved.
It is failed when:
Partners replicate family models and heritage without a personal reworking (replication); there can also be an
imbalance in favor of one lineage to the detriment of the other.
Partners deny or reject the family heritage and wish to interrupt the process of intergenerational transmission; the
couple is seen as a fresh start that owes nothing to origins and roots. (rejection, counter dependence)
In these two situations, couples are imprisoned by comparison with previous generations (even those who wish to behave
completely differently from the previous generation).
The process of couple distinction can be defined as a correlated distinction. In this process, it is crucial, in parallel, the
ability of families of origin to allow and encourage the children’s process of detachment. Families of origin can oscillate
between an excessive distance (disinterest) and too hard interference in the couple’s life (possessiveness).
The old generation is supposed to recognize the new boundaries, recognize the new identity of their children (see them as
partners and not as children), recognize the partner as a member of the family, and take a step back, so that their children
can fully assume their family responsibilities.
Topic 1
Family Relationships: the family is a social body that generates a new human being, by connecting genders, generations,
and lineages (Cigoli & Scabini, 2006)
As a form of relations family itself is:
The condition of the family as a group, system, or unit that has a structure and boundaries that make it
identifiable.
It is composed of parts that are linked together
It is connected to a social context
It has a history and goes through changes over time with different family member additions or passing away.
Generating, as a term of giving life to a new human being, a fruit of the bond between generants, who in turn are
generated.
The aim of the family is generativity, generating the next generation, generating ties, culture, and minds. Generants
transmit to the newborn, the generated, a genetic and symbolic heritage. The newborn can renovate this heritage. The
family itself makes humans be humans themselves. (U. Bronfenbrenner)
Family is an organization of primary relationships that connect three fundamental human differences: genders,
generations, and family lineages. The keyword to the organization of the family revolves around:
Relationships (the organizational/relational principle)
Symbolic dimensions (the symbolic principle)
Exchange dynamics (the dynamic principle)
Family transitions
Family relationships are primary since:
They are the first relationships encountered by human beings
Family members are bonded together as people (in the uniqueness of their existence)
They give us our primary identity (name and surname)
Family relationships are constrained; the degree of freedom of choice of family relationships has cultural and structural
limits. Family relationships are dramatic because binding and keeping together differences is difficult and conflictual.
But from the meeting of differences between renewment and novelty can arise. Family relationships produce a relational
commodity for the next generation that is essential to the human community.
1. The etymology of relationships comes from: rĕlĭgo, as, āvi, ātum, āre → to link, to tie, to bind
2. Reciprocal bond among family members mainly through role attributions: rĕ-fĕro, fers, re-tŭli, re-lātum, re-ferre
→ to attribute, to refer
,Referral of the meaning of the meanings and key values that permeate exchanges between genders, generations, and
lineages.
Relationships are what bind together subjects to each other:
is a third element
is a never-ending accumulation and sedimentation of values, myths, rituals, and meanings
is a constraint (structure, hierarchy, traumas) and an opportunity (resources) that connects past, present, and future
Interaction as its etymology: Inter-ago, inter-agis, inter-egi, inter-actŭm, inter-agĕre → act/behave between
Interaction is the action between the parties, is what the subjects construct through their shared actions, and it is
observable in the here and now when the interaction itself is taking place.
The cores of family relationships are formed through ties between partners, parents/children, siblings, and between the
family and the community.
The symbolic qualities of the family relationships’ structure of meaning: family-ness.
The affective dimension considers care and dedication towards the other and the bond, it’s an enduring attitude that
shows emotions. The ethical dimension is about will and duty to respect the value of the bond and to repair the unjust.
Family ties are constituted by loyalty commitments, and there is no getting away from the responsibilities that family
members have to each other. The well-being state derives from the balance of these two dimensions.
However, the family can be a place for the person’s well-being, but also a place of severe mental suffering. Trust/hope and
loyalty/justice coexist with their opposites, as in lack of trust and prevarication.
Giving (gift) is an expression of an act of trust, constitutive of the bond. It requires unconditional openness toward the
other and the acceptance of a task. Gifts coexist with debt and obligation, since a gift creates a debt, unbalance, in those
who receive. Receiving means acknowledging what the other has done for me and how much I owe him/her for this debt.
,The symbolic exchange typical of family relationships consists of giving the other person what he/she is supposed to
need; it is shaped by trust that the other will reciprocate with a symbolic equivalent when he or she can. (As gratitude is
not the absence of expectations, but not setting deadlines.)
Parents and children are united by both gifts and debt to previous generations. In healthy family relationships, one
reciprocates due to a desire to give back. It does not necessarily mean giving back to the people one has received but
extending the notion of giving to future generations and participating in social and community life. It is a long,
multigenerational process.
The Family Life Space (FLS) is a graphic symbolic instrument developed by Danuta Mostwin in the late 70’s to be used
in clinical settings. Its theoretical and conceptual framework draws on the general systems theory and symbolic
interactionism. The FLS defines the family space as a bio-psycho-social territory dense with meaning (Barker & Barker,
1990). The starting assumption is the spatial representability of psychic reality.
Levels of analysis:
1. Graphic-symbolic level (list, number and type of symbols; distribution of symbols with respect to the circle;
family boundaries and relationships with the environment; topological relationships between symbols (people,
events, organizations): proximity/distance among symbols; absence of significant people, events, organizations;
quality of relationships and possible omissions; order in which the graphic elements are marked). The Family Life
Space can also be intended as a gestalt (→ global impression)
2. Verbal level
3. Emotional-relational level, observation of the interaction in the here and now
Family transitions are key passages in the family history, which are triggered by critical events. Transitions bring to the
light the quality of the relationships that connect family members, transitions put relationships to the test, highlighting
their strengths and weaknesses. They are group transitions, they affect the entire family organization, they challenge
relational balances, and affect all generations involved in the transition.
Critical events are specific events that expose a family to crisis. Crisis (from the ancient Greek κρίσις «choice, decision»,
from the verb κρίνω «separate, select, distinguish, judge») ≠ STRESS indicates important, symbolically charged events
that mark transitions involving the whole family. Critical events are points of no return: they potentially demand change in
family relationships, given that the family’s earlier mode of functioning is no longer suited to its present aims and
purposes. Crisis points to the family’s difficulty in coping with change, but they are also valuable opportunities to
transform relationships.
Transitions are brought on by gaining (births) or losing members (deaths). Other transitions are connected to the family’s
relationship with society (children who go to school) or with other contexts (job loss). There are transitions that are less
focused and difficult to pinpoint in time (transition to adulthood). In general, they have to do with the theme of loss, it’s a
process of distancing from someone or something. They require members to detach themselves from earlier relational
patterns and find a new way of functioning, which is risky and painful. They connect the interactive and relational levels
and have both short-term and long-term effects.
Transition is not to be conceived as a simple move from one position to another. It implies the attainment of an aim
through generational development tasks. Transitions call for action, for a decision regarding how to restructure the family
, functioning. Families need to draw on their internal and external resources (individual, relational, material) to innovate its
way of functioning.
The couple bond and the construction of the pact aim to make, nurture, care for, and renew the couple’s pact while
building an identity as a couple. Marriage is the explicit act and the ritual that marks the transition in a strong sense.
Cohabitation does not have a specific ritual and is a more nuanced passage.
Pact is a constitutive element of any social structure. It derives from the Latin pax-pacis = peace, referring to a tension, a
potential conflict between the different participants.
Two mental ingredients are necessary for a pact to work properly:
Acknowledgement of the others’ differences
Acknowledgement of similarities.
The formation of the couple is based on reciprocity rule. The pact has a twofold valence:
Affective where it involved the emotional and sexual sphere (passion, affection, love, erotic aspects), where
partners feel recognized in their uniqueness and fulfill deep desires and needs, where the partners develop a
reciprocal trust (openness, hope, trust.) it is based on a secret agreement, an interlocking set of unconscious needs,
desires and expectations and fears that links the two partners.
Ethical refers to the commitment to respect the pact and to meet the obligations it brings with it. It refers to the
commitment and responsibility that partners assume when they establish a relationship. Commitment is expressed
by mutual support, the ability to accept and respect each other’s limitations. It is based on an explicit pact, a
promise.
Developing and keeping alive both the affective and the ethical aspects of the pact enables the building of a shared
identity as a couple (we-ness). The we-ness needs to be built and nurtured and kept alive over time. The couple is at the
crossroads of two lineages and two-family histories: intergenerational mediation device, a transmission belt. The couple is
a new, unprecedented system in which the two partners bring deficiencies and resources inherited from the families of
origin (a sort of baggage), but also has the possibility of renewing and transforming this heritage and transmitting it to the
next generations. The couple can build their identity by differentiating themselves from the respective families of origin,
while maintaining a connection with them and recognizing their heritage through the process of distinction.
The process of distinction is successful when partners recognize the heritage and feel free to revisit it in order to build
different relational styles while the similarities and differences between generations are preserved.
It is failed when:
Partners replicate family models and heritage without a personal reworking (replication); there can also be an
imbalance in favor of one lineage to the detriment of the other.
Partners deny or reject the family heritage and wish to interrupt the process of intergenerational transmission; the
couple is seen as a fresh start that owes nothing to origins and roots. (rejection, counter dependence)
In these two situations, couples are imprisoned by comparison with previous generations (even those who wish to behave
completely differently from the previous generation).
The process of couple distinction can be defined as a correlated distinction. In this process, it is crucial, in parallel, the
ability of families of origin to allow and encourage the children’s process of detachment. Families of origin can oscillate
between an excessive distance (disinterest) and too hard interference in the couple’s life (possessiveness).
The old generation is supposed to recognize the new boundaries, recognize the new identity of their children (see them as
partners and not as children), recognize the partner as a member of the family, and take a step back, so that their children
can fully assume their family responsibilities.
