Chapter 9
Applications of
Psychology
,Clinical and counseling Psychology
Marriage Counseling
Perhaps one of the most pressing problems facing the young person is finding a mate and making
a happy marriage. Studies carried out by sociologists and social psychologists have spotlighted
many of the factors which incline to a happy marriage, and in addition have identified those'
factors which predispose to marriage failure and divorce. Information of this sort is enlightening
and often' helpful to the young person contemplating matrimony.
Engagement-adjustment inventories have been drawn up covering a number of factors
prognostic of marriage success. These "scales" have been satisfactorily employed in marriage
counseling.
Why marriages succeed
Among the antecedents making for marital happiness, the following have been shown to be
important:
(1) Happiness of parents and resulting happy childhood of their children
(2) Early sex education
(3) Common interests and mutual friends
(4) Economic stability in the home
(5) Healthy attitude toward sex and marriage
It seems reasonable to expect that being reared in a happy home will make for emotional stability
and for friendly and congenial attitudes. In such a home, punishment is infrequent and, when
administered, is mild though firm. A rigid and puritanical attitude toward sex on the part of the
-parents increases a child's feeling of guilt and often leads to an abnormal interest in sexual
matters. Early sex education (preferably given in school, where it is likely to be more
impersonal), when neither sentimental and mawkish nor exaggeratedly casual encourages a
healthy attitude and makes for happiness later. Financial security and common intellectual and
social interests are frequently mentioned by experts as important for a successful marriage.
Mutual friends and interests are perhaps best guaranteed by similar educational, social and
economic background.
The proper function of courtship is to provide opportunities for young persons to meet
members of the opposite sex. Hence courtship is' an important preliminary to marriage. In
modem American society, dating constitutes a trial period in which boys and girls meet a number
of members of the opposite sex before one is singled out for special attention. "Going steady"
means that the preliminary period is over. The time at which any two people should enter into
steady dating depends on the maturity (physical, mental, social) of the boy and girl. It is unwise
for this phase to be entered upon before the exploratory dating period has been fully experienced.
In essence, maintaining a functional marriage involves the ability of 2 people to adapt to
compatible role situations. This is the principle 'process of resolving marital conflicts. What
enables a modem marriage relationship to endure-and to remain stable--in the midst of rapid
, social changes is good communication about marital roles; when one partner can tell the other
partner openly and uninhibitedly, what is expected of him or her, and the other partner can
respond. This leads to the development of mutually acceptable marital roles. These in turn, allow
the couple to make critical marital choices together, in a way that will be satisfactory and
beneficial to both members and to the relationship as a totality. Some of the most common
choices couples have to make during the course of marriage are: - .
whether to have children and how many
living arrangements
income and expenditure
relationship with each other's families
friends and acquaintances
sexual issues
Sources of Marital Conflict /Marital Failure
1. JEALOUSY: The basic source of most difficulty is that marriage is an intimate, interpersonal
relationship between 2 individuals who are constantly changing, in a changing environment, with
different needs at different times. Jealousy is one of the single most common problems in
marriages, breaking the foundation of trust and love and ridding the couple of the opportunity to
resolve it, since any explanation is taken as untrue. Jealousy can be sexual or non-sexual (where
the accuser feels that the accused is overstepping his/her boundaries).
2. FINANCIAL ISSUES: There maybe disagreement about how to spend available money, a
dispute about priorities or simply angry exchanges about the fact that there is insufficient money
to meet the couple's needs. The actual process of earning the income is also of importance, as
couples maybe overworked, underpaid and unsatisfied in their jobs.
3. CHILDREN: This conflict may begin even before the child is conceived and may extend to
questions regarding discipline, education and expectation of what the child should do. The
arrival of the new child, especially the first child, invariably places a strain on the couple. There
maybe less time and attention for each other, changes in sexual functioning and life-style. As the
child reaches adolescence, there is rebellion, which leads to persistent tension within the home.
4. SEX: Sex, is such an integral part of the marital relationship that inevitably it becomes a
source of heated conflict, either directly or symbolically. Sex is sometimes used as a weapon, to
be withheld as punishment, if there is sexual dissatisfaction, it makes it even more difficult to
resolve issues.
5. PERSONALITY CONFLICTS: Personality conflicts arise from wide differences in social /
economic background causing huge differences in expectations. Carping criticism, lack of
consideration, bad manners-:-couples sometimes fall into dysfunctional patterns of being bitter
and taking out all frustration on each other.
6. LACK OF COMMUNICATION: As mentioned before, when couples stop telling each other
how they feel or what is expected of each other, marital conflict ensues.
7. UNCONVENTIONAL BEHAVIOR: Unconventional behavior by one partner especially in
sex, religion and drinking often helps to destroy the balance in a relationship. ..
8. HASTY OR EARLY MARRIAGE: When two people get married too fast, it gives the
couple no time to plan, or ensure that they are compatible and the marriage itself
Applications of
Psychology
,Clinical and counseling Psychology
Marriage Counseling
Perhaps one of the most pressing problems facing the young person is finding a mate and making
a happy marriage. Studies carried out by sociologists and social psychologists have spotlighted
many of the factors which incline to a happy marriage, and in addition have identified those'
factors which predispose to marriage failure and divorce. Information of this sort is enlightening
and often' helpful to the young person contemplating matrimony.
Engagement-adjustment inventories have been drawn up covering a number of factors
prognostic of marriage success. These "scales" have been satisfactorily employed in marriage
counseling.
Why marriages succeed
Among the antecedents making for marital happiness, the following have been shown to be
important:
(1) Happiness of parents and resulting happy childhood of their children
(2) Early sex education
(3) Common interests and mutual friends
(4) Economic stability in the home
(5) Healthy attitude toward sex and marriage
It seems reasonable to expect that being reared in a happy home will make for emotional stability
and for friendly and congenial attitudes. In such a home, punishment is infrequent and, when
administered, is mild though firm. A rigid and puritanical attitude toward sex on the part of the
-parents increases a child's feeling of guilt and often leads to an abnormal interest in sexual
matters. Early sex education (preferably given in school, where it is likely to be more
impersonal), when neither sentimental and mawkish nor exaggeratedly casual encourages a
healthy attitude and makes for happiness later. Financial security and common intellectual and
social interests are frequently mentioned by experts as important for a successful marriage.
Mutual friends and interests are perhaps best guaranteed by similar educational, social and
economic background.
The proper function of courtship is to provide opportunities for young persons to meet
members of the opposite sex. Hence courtship is' an important preliminary to marriage. In
modem American society, dating constitutes a trial period in which boys and girls meet a number
of members of the opposite sex before one is singled out for special attention. "Going steady"
means that the preliminary period is over. The time at which any two people should enter into
steady dating depends on the maturity (physical, mental, social) of the boy and girl. It is unwise
for this phase to be entered upon before the exploratory dating period has been fully experienced.
In essence, maintaining a functional marriage involves the ability of 2 people to adapt to
compatible role situations. This is the principle 'process of resolving marital conflicts. What
enables a modem marriage relationship to endure-and to remain stable--in the midst of rapid
, social changes is good communication about marital roles; when one partner can tell the other
partner openly and uninhibitedly, what is expected of him or her, and the other partner can
respond. This leads to the development of mutually acceptable marital roles. These in turn, allow
the couple to make critical marital choices together, in a way that will be satisfactory and
beneficial to both members and to the relationship as a totality. Some of the most common
choices couples have to make during the course of marriage are: - .
whether to have children and how many
living arrangements
income and expenditure
relationship with each other's families
friends and acquaintances
sexual issues
Sources of Marital Conflict /Marital Failure
1. JEALOUSY: The basic source of most difficulty is that marriage is an intimate, interpersonal
relationship between 2 individuals who are constantly changing, in a changing environment, with
different needs at different times. Jealousy is one of the single most common problems in
marriages, breaking the foundation of trust and love and ridding the couple of the opportunity to
resolve it, since any explanation is taken as untrue. Jealousy can be sexual or non-sexual (where
the accuser feels that the accused is overstepping his/her boundaries).
2. FINANCIAL ISSUES: There maybe disagreement about how to spend available money, a
dispute about priorities or simply angry exchanges about the fact that there is insufficient money
to meet the couple's needs. The actual process of earning the income is also of importance, as
couples maybe overworked, underpaid and unsatisfied in their jobs.
3. CHILDREN: This conflict may begin even before the child is conceived and may extend to
questions regarding discipline, education and expectation of what the child should do. The
arrival of the new child, especially the first child, invariably places a strain on the couple. There
maybe less time and attention for each other, changes in sexual functioning and life-style. As the
child reaches adolescence, there is rebellion, which leads to persistent tension within the home.
4. SEX: Sex, is such an integral part of the marital relationship that inevitably it becomes a
source of heated conflict, either directly or symbolically. Sex is sometimes used as a weapon, to
be withheld as punishment, if there is sexual dissatisfaction, it makes it even more difficult to
resolve issues.
5. PERSONALITY CONFLICTS: Personality conflicts arise from wide differences in social /
economic background causing huge differences in expectations. Carping criticism, lack of
consideration, bad manners-:-couples sometimes fall into dysfunctional patterns of being bitter
and taking out all frustration on each other.
6. LACK OF COMMUNICATION: As mentioned before, when couples stop telling each other
how they feel or what is expected of each other, marital conflict ensues.
7. UNCONVENTIONAL BEHAVIOR: Unconventional behavior by one partner especially in
sex, religion and drinking often helps to destroy the balance in a relationship. ..
8. HASTY OR EARLY MARRIAGE: When two people get married too fast, it gives the
couple no time to plan, or ensure that they are compatible and the marriage itself
