Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal skills are the skills we use every day when we communicate and interact with other people, both
individually and in groups.
People with strong interpersonal skills are often more successful in both their professional and personal lives.
Interpersonal skills include a wide variety of skills, though many are centred around communication, such as
listening, questioning and understanding body language. They also include the skills and attributes associated
with emotional intelligence or being able to understand and manage your own and others’ emotions.
People with good interpersonal skills tend to be able to work well in a team or group, and with other people
more generally. They are able to communicate effectively with others, whether family, friends, colleagues,
customers or clients. Interpersonal skills are therefore vital in all areas of life at work, in education and
socially.
Through awareness of how you interact with others, and with practice, you can improve your interpersonal
skills. This section of Skills You Need is full of information and practical advice that you can use to improve and
develop your interpersonal skills.
You Already Have Interpersonal Skills
We've all been developing our interpersonal skills since childhood, usually subconsciously.
Interpersonal skills often become so natural that we may take them for granted, never thinking about how we
communicate with other people. If you have developed good habits, this is fine. However, it is of course also
possible to develop bad habits, and then fail to understand why our communications or relationships are
suffering.
However, with a little time and effort you can develop both your awareness, and these skills. Good
interpersonal skills can improve many aspects of your life, both professionally and socially, as they lead to
better understanding and better relationships.
Interpersonal skills are also sometimes referred to as social skills, people skills, soft skills, or life skills. Although
all these terms can include interpersonal skills, they tend to be broader and may therefore also refer to other
types of skills. Many people also use the term communication skills for interpersonal skills, but interpersonal
skills cover more, including decision-making and problem-solving, plus working in a group or team and
emotional intelligence.
What are Interpersonal Skills?
Interpersonal skills are generally considered to include a wide range of skills, such as:
• Communication skills, which in turn covers:
o Verbal Communication – what we say and how we say it;
, o Non-Verbal Communication – what we communicate without words, for example through body
language, or tone of voice; and
o Listening Skills – how we interpret both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
• Emotional intelligence – being able to understand and manage your own and others’ emotions.
• Team-working – being able to work with others in groups and teams, both formal and informal.
• Negotiation, persuasion and influencing skills – working with others to find a mutually agreeable
(Win/Win) outcome. This may be considered a subset of communication, but it is often treated
separately.
• Conflict resolution and mediation – working with others to resolve interpersonal conflict and
disagreements in a positive way, which again may be considered a subset of communication.
• Problem solving and decision-making – working with others to identify, define and solve problems,
which includes making decisions about the best course of action.
Developing Your Interpersonal Skills
Good interpersonal skills are often viewed as the foundation for good working and social relationships, and for
developing many other areas of skill.
For example, good leaders tend to have very good interpersonal skills, and develop other areas of their
leadership skills by building on these.
Without good interpersonal skills it is often more difficult to develop other important life skills. It is therefore
worth spending time developing good interpersonal skills.
Unlike specialised and technical skills (hard skills), interpersonal skills (soft skills) are used every day and in
every area of our lives.
Improving and developing your interpersonal skills is best done in steps, starting with the most basic, but vital:
1. Identify areas for improvement
The first step towards improving is to develop your knowledge of yourself and your weaknesses.
You may already have a good idea of areas that you need to develop. However, it is worth seeking
feedback from other people, because it is easy to develop ‘blind spots’ about yourself.
2. Focus on your basic communication skills
Communication is far more than the words that come out of your mouth.
Some would even go so far as to suggest that there is a reason why you have two ears and one mouth, and
that you should therefore listen twice as much as you talk!
Listening is very definitely not the same as hearing. Perhaps one of the most important things you can do
for anyone else is to take the time to listen carefully to what they are saying, considering both their verbal
and non-verbal communication. Using techniques like questioning and reflection demonstrates that you
are both listening and interested.
Interpersonal skills are the skills we use every day when we communicate and interact with other people, both
individually and in groups.
People with strong interpersonal skills are often more successful in both their professional and personal lives.
Interpersonal skills include a wide variety of skills, though many are centred around communication, such as
listening, questioning and understanding body language. They also include the skills and attributes associated
with emotional intelligence or being able to understand and manage your own and others’ emotions.
People with good interpersonal skills tend to be able to work well in a team or group, and with other people
more generally. They are able to communicate effectively with others, whether family, friends, colleagues,
customers or clients. Interpersonal skills are therefore vital in all areas of life at work, in education and
socially.
Through awareness of how you interact with others, and with practice, you can improve your interpersonal
skills. This section of Skills You Need is full of information and practical advice that you can use to improve and
develop your interpersonal skills.
You Already Have Interpersonal Skills
We've all been developing our interpersonal skills since childhood, usually subconsciously.
Interpersonal skills often become so natural that we may take them for granted, never thinking about how we
communicate with other people. If you have developed good habits, this is fine. However, it is of course also
possible to develop bad habits, and then fail to understand why our communications or relationships are
suffering.
However, with a little time and effort you can develop both your awareness, and these skills. Good
interpersonal skills can improve many aspects of your life, both professionally and socially, as they lead to
better understanding and better relationships.
Interpersonal skills are also sometimes referred to as social skills, people skills, soft skills, or life skills. Although
all these terms can include interpersonal skills, they tend to be broader and may therefore also refer to other
types of skills. Many people also use the term communication skills for interpersonal skills, but interpersonal
skills cover more, including decision-making and problem-solving, plus working in a group or team and
emotional intelligence.
What are Interpersonal Skills?
Interpersonal skills are generally considered to include a wide range of skills, such as:
• Communication skills, which in turn covers:
o Verbal Communication – what we say and how we say it;
, o Non-Verbal Communication – what we communicate without words, for example through body
language, or tone of voice; and
o Listening Skills – how we interpret both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
• Emotional intelligence – being able to understand and manage your own and others’ emotions.
• Team-working – being able to work with others in groups and teams, both formal and informal.
• Negotiation, persuasion and influencing skills – working with others to find a mutually agreeable
(Win/Win) outcome. This may be considered a subset of communication, but it is often treated
separately.
• Conflict resolution and mediation – working with others to resolve interpersonal conflict and
disagreements in a positive way, which again may be considered a subset of communication.
• Problem solving and decision-making – working with others to identify, define and solve problems,
which includes making decisions about the best course of action.
Developing Your Interpersonal Skills
Good interpersonal skills are often viewed as the foundation for good working and social relationships, and for
developing many other areas of skill.
For example, good leaders tend to have very good interpersonal skills, and develop other areas of their
leadership skills by building on these.
Without good interpersonal skills it is often more difficult to develop other important life skills. It is therefore
worth spending time developing good interpersonal skills.
Unlike specialised and technical skills (hard skills), interpersonal skills (soft skills) are used every day and in
every area of our lives.
Improving and developing your interpersonal skills is best done in steps, starting with the most basic, but vital:
1. Identify areas for improvement
The first step towards improving is to develop your knowledge of yourself and your weaknesses.
You may already have a good idea of areas that you need to develop. However, it is worth seeking
feedback from other people, because it is easy to develop ‘blind spots’ about yourself.
2. Focus on your basic communication skills
Communication is far more than the words that come out of your mouth.
Some would even go so far as to suggest that there is a reason why you have two ears and one mouth, and
that you should therefore listen twice as much as you talk!
Listening is very definitely not the same as hearing. Perhaps one of the most important things you can do
for anyone else is to take the time to listen carefully to what they are saying, considering both their verbal
and non-verbal communication. Using techniques like questioning and reflection demonstrates that you
are both listening and interested.
